kaydeefalls: winter soldier holding cap's shield (winter soldier)
OH GOD CIVIL WAR TRAILER

I CAN'T

EVERYTHING IS ABOUT BUCKY AND EVERYTHING HURTS (IN A GOOD WAY)

ant-man

Jul. 19th, 2015 12:46 am
kaydeefalls: "you certainly know your trash," deasey said. (i know my trash)
Saw Ant-Man today. Here are my thoughts: spoilers, including post-credits scenes )
kaydeefalls: winters silhouette on paris street at night (another winter in a summer town)
Hello, internet. I seem to have forgotten how to fandom. Apparently I haven't posted in a month? I also haven't been...fandoming at all, lately. I try to check DW/LJ every other day, and tumblr once or twice a week, but I'm just not feeling it right now. Work is pretty good, but it's draining, and I'm obscenely busy with the Gay Geeks in my downtime, and the combination leaves very little energy left over for fandom. I miss it. Or I guess I miss wanting to participate in it. The MCU fandom's response to Age of Ultron really soured me, and since that was my primary fandom, I've kind of disconnected entirely. I've had writer's block for months and I can't even muster up any vidding mojo lately, so 2015 has been kind of a dead year for me fannishly. Oh, well, this too shall pass.

[livejournal.com profile] azewewish tagged me in a WIP meme, though, so here we go: Pull seven lines from the seventh page of your WIP, then you're supposed to tag seven other writers.

The only WIP I have that's longer than 7 pages is of course the shitty Steve/Bucky fic of perpetual unfinishedness, so here you go. I'm fudging a little, since halfway through page 7 is a scene break, so I'll do the 7 lines leading up to it:

Steve slumps down into the chair. The shield drops to the floor at his side with a faint clang. He props his head up in his hands and stares at the video feed of Bucky's room. After a few long minutes, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you called Sam?" Natasha asks him in a low tone. "You should call Sam."

He shakes his head slowly, not taking his eyes off Bucky. "I'm not gonna bother him at this hour."

"I'm calling Sam," she says firmly. "You are staying put until he gets here, and then he is going to explain to you in terms you can understand why it's a really terrible idea for you to go charging in on Barnes right now. In the meantime…" She pauses, then slides a pad of paper and a pen across the desk to him. "We have a guard stationed down on his level. If you'd like to write him a note, I can ask him to leave it somewhere Barnes will see it when he wakes up."

Steve stares at the pad in front of him. What could he possibly write? His mind feels as blank as the paper. "I just want him to know I'm here, if he -- just that I'm here. Could you just…" A thought occurs, and he reaches down to grip his shield. "Can you put this in the room with him?"

Bucky had saved the shield from the Potomac himself, unprompted. He'd carried it with him for a month before their paths crossed again, and he'd been holding it tightly when Steve found him mid-breakdown. The shield obviously meant something to him. It's a better message than any words Steve could possibly write down.

Natasha hesitates, then accepts the shield from him. He doesn't think she's ever actually held it before. "Okay," she says. "I can do that."


Tagging anyone who has a WIP they'd like to share with the class.
kaydeefalls: bucky & steve in the snow (winter is coming)
Have seen Age of Ultron twice. not particularly spoilery, but cutting anyway )

Next up: I'm trying to compile a list of LGBTQ characters in geeky genres for an upcoming trivia and I need your help! Because I don't know all of the fandoms, obvs. I'm looking for TEXTUALLY queer characters (as in, not just subtext/slash goggles) in any of the following genres: sci-fi, fantasy, horror, comics/graphic novels/manga, video games, anime/cartoons. I know sci-fi/fantasy pretty well, but very much need help in the comics/anime/gaming areas. And in particular I don't know of many trans* characters, so tell me what you've got!

Here's what I've got so far: )
kaydeefalls: peggy on brooklyn bridge (peggy in brooklyn)
*drowns in Agent Carter feels*

I have nothing insightful to say, but I did want to add: really minor spoiler )

Look obviously important plotty and character-arc-y things happened in this episode and this series that fill me with great joy, actually the shipping potential is waaaay down low on my list of WHY I LOVE THIS SHOW, but the heart wants what the heart wants, so whatever.

And primarily the heart wants a season 2, goddamnit.

and one more spoiler )

Cap themes!

Feb. 8th, 2015 04:03 pm
kaydeefalls: winter soldier holding cap's shield (winter soldier)
Crowd sourcing time! My Gay Geeks group is holding a Captain America 75th birthday party to coincide with Avengers 2 opening. We're trying to come up with some kind of fun theme to go along with the party -- like a contest for best shield, etc. Anyone have good geeky ideas? Or ideas for themed drink specials? Since the MCU fandom is super creative, I figured someone would have better ideas than me. :)
kaydeefalls: wash's dinosaurs: "curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" (curses! foiled again!)
I don't have a TV, so I generally watch my handful of current TV shows the day after they air. I'm pretty careful about avoiding spoilers for the less-than-24-hours in between other people seeing stuff and me catching up, although tumblr has screwed me over in the past. I accept this.

But seriously, I just got massively spoiled for last night's Agents of SHIELD by the GODDAMN ABC WEBSITE. Like, this is the site I have to visit to watch the show, and they have the spoiler plastered across the "watch latest episode" page. I am so pissed.

...I mean, I'm pissed about the actual spoiler, too, but also that the network itself ruined it for me. Although, seriously, RL is bad enough, but spoilers for SHIELD, Sleepy Hollow, and Doctor Who )

I was gonna follow this up with the December meme, but I'll stick that in another, spoiler-free post.

beta beta

Nov. 21st, 2014 05:06 pm
kaydeefalls: rose logs in to v-chat with all her whoniverse buddies (whoniverse)
All right, screw it. It's begging for betas time!

First, a vid -- anyone up to date on Doctor Who willing to do a quick beta on a 3-min Danny Pink vid? I chugged this thing out in one marathon vidding session last night, and I'm gonna go back and do a round of tweaks on it now, but another set of eyes would be extremely welcome.

And second -- Steve/Bucky fic. I feel weird asking for this before the fic itself is complete, but I've been struggling with this fucker for months now, and having someone else willing to read through it and talk to me about it would be all kinds of helpful. Right now it's at about 25k words, but I'm finally in the home stretch, so I'm guessing I've only got about 5k more to write. And I am DETERMINED to finish this thing before Yuletide. It's driving me nuts. (It's also a sequel to somebody hears you. (you know that.), but you don't need to read that first -- it picks up where that fic left off, from Steve's POV, and is much more heavily focused on the Steve/Bucky relationship.)

I am always more than happy to beta your own work in exchange. Or I can write/vid you a thing, maybe. IDK.

vid beta?

Aug. 22nd, 2014 10:52 pm
kaydeefalls: steve and bucky in the bar (kids from brooklyn)
Hey...would anyone be willing to do a quick vid beta of a Steve-centric vid? It's...not quite the vid I had expected to make, very TFA-heavy, with Steve/Peggy and Steve/Bucky both prominently featured (could be read as romantic or platonic, but those are basically the two most important people in his life during the war, so yeah).

I'd originally planned to include a lot of Steve/Natasha and Steve/Sam as well, except then it became all First Avenger all the time instead of an equal balance with Winter Soldier. Hell, I'd planned to include Avengers footage, too. So, yeah, this is why I'd like another set of eyes, if anyone's willing. I need to make sure the damn thing still holds together.

It's also kind of Steve/violence, but to a lesser degree. Steve being attracted to people and situations that are inherently dangerous? Yeah.

(Why is it so much easier for me to vid than to write these days?)
kaydeefalls: winter soldier holding cap's shield (winter soldier)
All right, I have succeeded in remastering all three of my Winter Soldier vids with higher quality footage. Huzzah! If anyone's interested --

The Hymn of Acxiom:
someone is gathering every crumb you drop, these (mindless decisions and) moments you long forgot. A Bucky vid.

How Far We've Come:
Waking up at the start of the end of the world: Steve, not sure what he's still fighting for.

We Will Dance:
If we can be without fear, without shame, then we can dance. A Natasha vid.

And so having spent my entire day re-vidding, of course now I'm neck deep into yet another Steve-centric vid instead of working on any of the three fic WIPs I'd planned to make progress on. Um. And my time of unemployment is apparently gonna be a lot shorter than I'd expected -- with my final show of the season having closed last week, I'd pretty much planned for August to be a dead month again. But a friend is going on sabbatical from her incredibly dull office job, and she set me up to meet with her boss yesterday, so apparently I'll be taking over said incredibly dull office job for about six weeks, starting two weeks from now. Which, y'know, yay income! But at the same time -- ugh, I do not want this job at all. At least it's only for six weeks. I can do anything for six weeks, and yeah, the income will of course be good. I'd just kind of looked forward to a bit more of a vacation after how stressful the last show was. Alas.

well, fuck.

Aug. 6th, 2014 06:06 pm
kaydeefalls: rose logs in to v-chat with all her whoniverse buddies (whoniverse)
And Vimeo has started deleting a couple of my vids for copyright infringement, because they recognized the audio files (in this case, Vienna Teng). FUCK. I tried appealing it under Fair Use, but was denied. So there goes my Winter Soldier vid. I uploaded it to YouTube instead, which is working okay so far, but I'd vastly preferred Vimeo as a video host, and I don't particularly trust YouTube for fanvids in the long run. Any other vidders -- what's your preferred host site?

(I've been spending the day remastering my most recent MCU vids, now that high-quality Winter Soldier source is available. First up was The Hymn of Acxiom, my Bucky vid. Which...ugh, now I have to replace it with YouTube embeds EVERYWHERE, fuck everything.)
kaydeefalls: steve and bucky in the bar (kids from brooklyn)
Okay, I am not writing this, because I don't think I could handle it properly, but I'd really like to read an MCU!Captain America AU set during the Vietnam War. Because so much of who Steve becomes is forged in WWII -- which, in the end, was a just war, where it was obvious who the bad guys were and what made them bad. I want to see Steve becoming Captain America during a war that permanently tarnishes America's image in the world, and struggling with what that means.

I want to see the story where Steve has just as much heart, just as much determination to make things right, but is thrust into a conflict where there are no good guys and there is no moral imperative and he's not sure we ever should have gotten involved in the first place. Maybe Steve and Bucky enlisted early on, before anyone understood what a mess they were getting into. Maybe Bucky got drafted and Steve only tried to enlist in order to go with him. Maybe that loyalty, that determination, is what Erskine spotted in him, why Steve was chosen -- because of course the military wanted to create an army of supersoldiers to crush the Commies, but Erskine wanted someone pure, someone truly good, someone morally strong enough to turn the tide of public opinion. Someone who would be able to make the right choices in impossible situations. But as the war goes on, Steve becomes increasingly horrified by what his country is doing and Bucky (always the realist) becomes dark and cynical and angry but loves Steve too much to walk away from him (not that the army would ever let him out anyway) and the problem with this whole concept is that I can't see anyone getting out of it alive.

(Also, super problematic when it comes to figuring out who the Red Skull and Zola would be in this AU -- Viet Cong? Um, god no. Soviets? Ugh.)

Still. Steve struggling with figuring out what the right thing is in an untenable conflict. Bucky's whole unit getting captured and sent to a POW camp, and of course no one's coming to rescue them. Peggy the intelligence agent who's completely disillusioned by the war and knows there's no winning but she stays because she's trying to keep her people alive. Steve fighting on only to defend those who can't fight for themselves, but the locals don't even want him here and hell, he can't blame 'em (ugh please no horrible White Savior trope, that is not where I want this to go). What it means to be Captain America when America is forcibly shoving itself in where it doesn't belong, when Steve feels like he's becoming exactly the sort of bully he'd always hated.

Um. So that's sort of bleak. But I think it would be fascinating?

(I also think it's just as possible that Steve would've been at the head of the antiwar protests back home, would've become known as "Captain America" in a countercultural sort of way, and that story would be interesting, too. I guess he never would've gotten the serum, though. Or maybe that's when Bucky got drafted and Steve followed him because what the hell else was he supposed to do?)
kaydeefalls: rose logs in to v-chat with all her whoniverse buddies (whoniverse)
I don't post at all about RL anymore, do I? Mostly because I don't have much to say. Closed a show Sunday, enjoying the couple weeks' breather before the next one starts rehearsal, being as productive in fandom as possible while I have the chance. I'm trying to work through as many of my MCU bunnies as I can before seeing X-Men on Saturday. Haven't been feeling the X-Men fandom groove for a while, but I know that the new movie will likely drag me back in with a vengeance, and I'd like to finish a couple more Winter Soldier-inspired fanworks before that happens.

(I mean, I've got two X-Men WIPs that I'd badly like to finish as well, so I AM hoping that DoFP rekindles that obsession. But I don't want to abandon this dratted Steve Rogers fic in the meantime.)

SO. In that spirit -- would anyone be willing to do a quick vid beta of a Steve vid? Uses both Cap movies and Avengers as source (and, ugh, I am so sick of this cam footage, you don't even know). Steve's not the character I have the best grasp on, and I want to make sure it flows okay before posting (and that it isn't a scattered mess). And for once the song is neither Vienna Teng nor Tom McRae, so I'm not trusting my vidding instincts as much as usual. Anyone? I'm always willing to offer up a reciprocal beta in exchange. :D?
kaydeefalls: winter soldier holding cap's shield (winter soldier)
HOLY SHITBALLS, AGENTS OF SHIELD.

That's gonna be all the coherency I'm capable of right now, but seriously, show, why so bad for the first half of the season when you could have been as awesome as the past five episodes the whole time?

brief spoilers )
kaydeefalls: winter soldier holding cap's shield (winter soldier)
So then I wrote 9000 words of post-TWS Bucky fic. Like everyone else on the internet.

Anyone willing to beta? It's vaguely Bucky/Steve (like, one kiss), but really more just Bucky gen with a side of Bucky&Steve. And I'm not 100% sure if it's done yet. My plot outline had involved two or three more scenes to finish it off, but I just read over the full thing, and now I kinda like the idea of ending it where it does -- because Bucky's story shouldn't be wrapped up neatly with a bow, there should still be a bit of open-endedness to it (because recovery is an ongoing process, etc, whatever, META). So I could also use a beta who's willing to be honest with me about whether or not it actually feels finished yet.

But, yeah. Bucky fic. It happens.
kaydeefalls: winters/nixon share a moment in england (he misspelled court-martial)
Okay, yes, Bucky Barnes has taken over my life, I admit it. Second viewing of Winter Soldier impressed me much more than the first, for some damn reason, possibly because I'd already become mildly obsessed with Bucky. And I badly need decent source for the vid bunny that's eating my brain.

BUT ANYWAY.

Continuity question: spoilers, obviously )

HA.

Nov. 21st, 2013 05:53 pm
kaydeefalls: victor realizes: "...we're all gonna die." (victor gets a clue)
Running out in a minute to go see Catching Fire, but I just watched this week's Agents of SHIELD episode, and I had to pop in to say -- spoiler )

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