kaydeefalls: drunk!raven pointing at YOU (queen's gambit)
All right, let's do this thing. (There are still several unclaimed days, if anyone wants to add to it!)

From [personal profile] via_ostiense: thought processes, ideas, any commentary on writing Queen's Gambit?

Ah, yes, the three-year fic. And here I thought I could finally stop talking about it now that it's done. :P lots of ramble ahead )
kaydeefalls: drunk!raven pointing at YOU (queen's gambit)
I just sent the final chapter of Queen's Gambit off to my long-suffering betas.

Holy shit. Holy shit. One last round of edits, and I am fucking DONE with this fucking fic. I can't even. I don't even remember what it's like to NOT have this constantly open and glaring at me from a browser tab on my laptop. Three years. THREE YEARS. I am never ever ever posting a WIP again.

\o/!

(It is gonna be kinda weird saying goodbye to this universe, though. It's been in my head for so freaking long now.)
kaydeefalls: drunk!raven pointing at YOU (queen's gambit)
I will say, the nice thing about having three active WIPs is that I can kind of bounce between them depending on my mood and write little bits and bobs here and there and still feel like I'm making some kind of progress. Which is nice, because the Steve fic is at about 7000 words right now and probably not even halfway done yet, and that's freaking me out a bit, so it helps to focus on the other ones instead.

blather about Queen's Gambit, mostly, because talking it out helps me organize the thoughts in my head )
kaydeefalls: raven smiles brilliantly (raven hearts you)
Catching Fire was really, really excellent. My friend and I agreed that it was better than the first movie. Also, I have a massive crush on Johanna already, so having her played to perfection by Jena Malone was made of awesome. I think I exhausted all my thinky-thoughts in our post-movie RL discussion, and now I don't know what to say about it anymore, but it's REALLY REALLY GOOD, guys.

I quit the temp job of endless data entry, thank god, because the extra cash just wasn't worth the misery. And it freed me up a bit to actually WRITE, which has been awesome. I'm 3000+ words into Secret Mutant with no end in sight. Like, my plot outline for this one has a whole chunk labeled "save this for the sequel", which doesn't mean I will ever actually WRITE a sequel, but, y'know. It's that kind of fic. I really wish I had someone to talk about it with right now, actually, because it's making my brain explode a bit. Maybe I should be preemptively looking for a beta or two? The whole anonymous exchange thing makes me wary of spilling too many details here. Let's just say it's not my usual XMFC POV character, plus some other complicating factors. Um. But I'm having a lot of fun building the 'verse for this.

I keep side-eying the next chapter of Queen's Gambit, too, because I was finally making good progress on that one when the wave of seasonal challenges hit. Maybe I should hop back and forth between Secret Mutant and that, it might save me from the hours of playing solitaire while rolling over plot issues in the back of my head. At least the plot part is no longer my problem with Queen's Gambit. (My sticking point there, for the moment, is worldbuilding what a Limbo that isn't in Dom Cobb's head would look like. I don't actually think I have a strong enough grasp on Raven's subconscious for this shit.)

Then there's Yuletide. I attended a Yule writers' meetup last week, which was fun. I only got one paragraph written, but at least now I know what story I'm telling for Yuletide, which is a massive step forward. Beyond that -- the deadline's not until weeks after Secret Mutant, so I'll leave it be until December. It's not going to be a super-long fic, and I'll do better under imminent deadline.

And I still need to do my massive revision for the Sleepy Hollow exchange fic, which is due in a week. Hmmm.

LOOK LOTS OF WRITING BLATHER NO ONE CARES ABOUT, LA LA LA. I've been tragically neglecting the blog-every-day-for-a-month meme, but I find it hard to care. I'll pick it back up again eventually.

...seriously, though, if anyone's willing to chat about the Secret Mutant fic and maybe beta when it's done, I would very much appreciate it. I hate making that request without being able to provide more details about it, but I'm trying not to throw all anonymity away this early in the game, and it's not like I'm writing one of the many "Erik/Charles holiday theme!" prompts for this exchange, so it really will be obvious if I say anything else about it. It will likely hit 10,000 words before it's done. It is slash, but more emphasis on plot than romance. It is AU. Anyone? I always feel like I'm imposing on people when I want to talk about my writing process, because that just seems so selfish to me, you know? But I'd absolutely be more than happy to reciprocate writing chat/beta for your own fic, if that helps.
kaydeefalls: charles looking at erik with hearts in his eyes omg (charles/erik)
I AM LIKE HYPERVENTILATING BECAUSE THE X-MEN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST TRAILER LOOKS SO FUCKING AMAZING.

IN OTHER NEWS, MEME. With warning for whimsy and not taking the question seriously.

11. List 15 of your favorite things
1. XMDOFP trailer, jesus fucking christ, this was the wrong time to ask me this question
2. baked goods
3. my laptop
4. my iPhone
5. internet fandom, or at least my corner of it
6. sleeping
7. theater
8. being alone in a theater lit only by a ghost light, because I have never known such perfect peace
9. Tom Stoppard's play Arcadia
10. frieeeeeendshiiiiiip
11. going to my happy shipper mental space for my OTP of any given moment
12. plotty OTP fanfic
13. hot showers on cold days, and cold showers on hot days
14. traveling solo
15. mountains

This was a very stream-of-consciousness list, btw.

NOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME THE TRAILER IS? Because I have had my doubts and fears about this movie, but suddenly all I can see is the awesome. (Yes, I know it should be Kitty Pryde instead of Wolverine, and yes, I would prefer that, too, and lack of Angel makes me sad, but APART FROM THAT.)

all the prompts )
kaydeefalls: drunk!raven pointing at YOU (queen's gambit)
So I legit had a dream last night that for some reason involved working out a plot snag on Queen's Gambit, and woke up and grabbed my laptop and started writing. (So I...incepted myself? I suppose that's fitting.) And while this hasn't been my most productive day ever, it did end up with several thousand more words written, and I'm only like two or three not-terribly-long scenes away from finishing the next chapter. Except now I'm having all kinds of weird self-conscious feelings about the fact that it's been nearly a year since I updated that fic, and nobody wants to read it anymore, and how the way I've broken up the next couple of chapters means that I'm banking everything on the hope that the handful of people who might actually still be reading are somewhat invested in Alex, because there is basically no Charles or Erik in this chapter at all, and ugh of course no one likes this fic as much as Boden's Mate because really the central character arcs belong to Raven and Alex, neither of whom are terribly popular characters in this fandom, and by now my brain is in some kind of weird awful feedback loop of fail.

In conclusion, this is a pretty good summary of why I haven't updated Queen's Gambit in close to a year. Um, that and the whole MASSIVE SERIES OF UPHEAVALS that have been the past ten months of my life, but yeah.

But I am only 2k words or so away from having the next chapter ready for beta. And for the record, Cain Marko's head is not a fun place to visit.
kaydeefalls: winters silhouette on paris street at night (another winter in a summer town)
Secret Mutant is live! If you like XMFC fic, you should totally check it out. It's...mostly Charles/Erik, but there are a handful of other pairings & gen fics strewn about in there, too.

I wrote two fics. They are POLAR OPPOSITES in popularity at the moment, and I expect that won't change. There is pretty much zero anonymity involved in my pinch-hit; the other is less obvious (and has almost no hits on AO3 at the moment, which does not surprise me). If you manage to guess both, I'll...write you a thing? Seriously, no points for guessing the pinch-hit alone, it's that obvious.

I received an XMFC/Bond fusion fic, which is also not even a little bit anonymous, but I'll not reveal the author early. ;) She has excellent taste in fusions; I've been mainlining Skyfall fic over the past few weeks, so that was very well-timed.

Aaand...I really need to get cracking on Yuletide, fuck. Instead, have a Yuletide meme! i've been participating since the very first year, godDAMN )
kaydeefalls: The Last Unicorn by Samantha Darko (i write the bestest stories)
I've always kind of longingly side-eyed all the kink bingos, because it looks like such a fun concept but I'm, like, the least kinky writer ever. But then apparently [community profile] cottoncandy_bingo happened, and THAT is some fluffy shit I can totally get behind. Not that I'll ever manage to finish a line, because my writing mojo has been rather lacking of late, but it's worth a shot! (Especially with unemployment looming. I'll need something to do other than apply for jobs I won't get.)

Also, I lucked out, because the fourth column? It's like they KNOW me!

fluffy bingo )

Maybe this will kick me in the ass to finish my Charles/Erik Theatre!AU at long last.

I also signed up for [livejournal.com profile] xmenbigbang despite having precisely zero ideas for it. But the first check-in isn't until October, so I have faith in my ability to come up with a plotbunny by then. Seeing as I'm categorically incapable of writing fics that are less than 10,000 words these days anyway. I do have an intriguing two paragraphs of a fantasy!AU that I typed up hastily and without any accompanying notes a few months ago. I can't remember exactly what I wanted to do with it now -- from what I remember, it was basically inspired by a weird Erik dream I had, and I wrote it down really quickly early in the morning before running off to work -- but possibly I can mold something out of it.

And, urg, I really need to get a chapter of Queen's Gambit out, but every time I open that doc I kind of cringe and hide. I basically have one big missing piece of plot that I haven't figured out yet, and while I know I should just push through and see what happens, it's killing me to not know how to resolve that one thread. And it's been almost four months since I last updated, thanks to Reversebang eating all my writing mojo. Ugh, this is why I never post WIPs.
kaydeefalls: calvin and hobbes bopping butts (bop.)
Dearest fandom, today is my birthday. And I shall celebrate by being in tech at the theater for at least twelve hours straight. \o/?

In tech for Xanadu, no less. The theatre snob in me cringes every time I tell anyone that, but in perfect honesty, I have to admit that this show is a lot more fun (and funnier!) than I was expecting. It's still flash and trash musical comedy, yes, but secretly, I am enjoying it. Still. TECH. >_<

I'm so glad to be working in theatre full-time, though, you have no idea. Even though I'm completely disconnected from the outside world and have lost all sense of, say, what "weekends" are, because weekends are days I work just as long (if not longer) than weekdays. I'm working roughly 60-70 hours a week at the moment. Being in rehearsal for three shows in rep at once is no joke. But tomorrow is my day off, so I shall sleep late and maybe take a walk by the lake or see a movie or something, and try to get closer to finishing the X-Men Reversebang. So that will be good.

Speaking of XMRB, I've been participating in a few of the chats, and that's been surprisingly fun! I mean, I'm not really a chatty person -- almost never chat with anyone online at all. It's too distracting for me; I feel like I have to pay too much attention to holding up my end of the conversation even if I don't have anything in particular to say, and that stresses me out. But the XMRB chats have been very friendly, and there are enough other people involved that I don't feel pressured to Be Interesting And Talkative At All Times, so it's been nice. And strangely productive for my fic. I'll miss those once the challenge is done.

Shit, it's almost 8:20am, I need to get my ass to the theater. Happy birthday to me!
kaydeefalls: The Last Unicorn by Samantha Darko (i write the bestest stories)
Apparently I misunderstood the X-Men Reversebang schedule -- and it sounds like I'm not the only one, since they just posted a clarification that while there's a mandatory author check-in on May 21, the rough draft itself isn't due until June 20. THANK JEBUS. Seriously, writing this thing has been like pulling teeth, and while I've been planning on devoting this weekend to working on it, it's extremely unlikely I'll be 80% done with the fic by Monday. And now I have a whole extra MONTH to get there!

I've shoved other WIPs to the side over the past few weeks to work on this one, which has been massively frustrating given my lack of significant progress, but now I think I can allow myself to poke at Queen's Gambit again. Because I'm finally at the exciting part of that fic, but I didn't want to give it too much attention while I had this huge deadline hanging over my head. I feel so free now!

...though, okay, I'm crap at the collaborating-with-your-artist part of Reversebang, because for me, writing is a very private and isolated process -- I almost never share WIP drafts with anyone else until they're polished to a ready-for-beta point (which, for me, means I've gone through and done my own edits several times through already). Even Queen's Gambit, which I'm posting as a WIP -- I need to have a complete, coherent 10k-ish word chapter before I'll even show it to my betas. I don't know how to write collaboratively. Should I be e-mailing my artist scenes as I finish them, even though I know I'll rewrite them a bunch more times and I hate hate hate having other people see my roughest drafts? Should I, like, offer to share the gdoc with her? How is this supposed to work?
kaydeefalls: erik turns the warheads around, "peace was never an option" (never an option)
Had a low-grade headache all day yesterday, which made me feel cranky and out-of-sorts, so when I got home I curled up in bed with some fic to read and then I opened my eyes again and it was nearly midnight. Um. So I rolled over and went back to sleep and didn't get up until my alarm went off at 6:30am this morning. Which means that I slept for more than twelve hours.

On the plus side, I feel really well-rested today. Which is good, because I'm going to the midnight showing of the Avengers, so it's not like I'm going to be getting any sleep tonight.

Avengers! I'm still primarily an X-Men girl, but I'm pretty darn excited for this, especially since everyone who's seen it already seems to be raving about it. (Which is also why I decided to just give in and see the midnight showing despite how sleep-deprived and miserable it will make work tomorrow -- I've already been accidentally spoiled on two major things I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO BE SPOILED ABOUT, and that'll only get worse once it finally opens in the US.) So, yeah, meeting up with a group of fen in Silver Spring to go see, that should be awesome.

Super frustrated with myself on the writing front. I managed all of 1000 words of Reversebang over the weekend, and it's all pretty much crap and I don't know how to make it not crap. I'm tempted to scrap everything and start from scratch, but I barely have any ideas for this fic at all, and I don't know where else to go with it. The artwork is so gorgeous, seriously, but my brain is just not fucking cooperating. I'm too stubborn to drop out, but I have to produce a rough draft in three weeks, and I'm terrified that it will just be completely awful. UGH.

...and that's how I get into the sort of toxic headspace where I shut down and sleep for twelve hours straight to avoid my own brain.
kaydeefalls: raven smiles brilliantly (raven hearts you)
Reread Hunger Games Monday night and Catching Fire last night, trying to hold off on giving Mockingjay another go immediately because there are totally other things I'd like to be doing with my limited and quickly-disappearing free time but seriously, who do I think I'm kidding. And now vid bunnies are biting for the first time in months, which is a pity, because there is no Hunger Games source yet and the ideas I have really need to wait for the rest of the movies to be made anyway. But theoretically, somewhere in the future, it's entirely possible I will do another Vienna Teng vid series for Hunger Games, because her songs, they are speaking to my fandom brain again. "Hope On Fire", definitely -- lyrics far too eerily appropriate, ugh, my heart. (Gotta leave, gotta bleed / You've gotta stop lying still / 'cause this is no kind of life. CHRIST.) I want some Catching Fire footage for that one, though, for obvious reasons. And I'll have to wait through all of Mockingjay for "Gravity", which very much wants to be an endgame Katniss/Peeta vid (So don't turn away now / I am turning in revolution / These are the scars that silence carved on me). But, y'know. That. HELP ME I AM HAVING FEELINGS, CANNOT COPE.

Zero fic drive for this fandom, though. I might trawl AO3 for any decent Katniss/Peeta fics, but I don't have high hopes, and I have no interest in writing anything except possibly that X-Men fusion bunny where District 13 is run by Charles Xavier, who's been keeping it hidden from the Capitol for years and years and yeah, no way do I have any intention of writing this, I have a whole 'nother fusion 'verse to finish.

Anyway. Went home early from work today because I felt like shit -- I've been sick for about a week now, and it's starting to really piss me off. Not seriously ill, just a bad cold or minor flu or whatever, but it's lingering on way longer than it has any right to, probably because I haven't had a single day off to actually rest (and won't get one until the last weekend of April). I'm just exhausted. But there's nothing I can do about that. Next show loads in Friday.

Okay, going to try to keep writing X-Men fic now. (I have managed to write a complete scene today. This is...not really progress.)

FANDOM.

Apr. 2nd, 2012 08:20 pm
kaydeefalls: martha's got soul but she's not a soldier (all these things that i've done)
HELLO. So my ridiculous awesome bizarre abstract underwater puppet show is now over -- that was a whirlwind couple of weeks right there. Strike was yesterday, it SUCKED, I will never not hate strike with every fiber of my being, but it's over so who cares. The next one kicks in starting Friday, this time with 100% less GIANT WATER TANKS THAT NEED TO BE DRAINED AND REFILLED EVERY DAY, so that's cool, but it basically means I need to cram all the fandom in I can in these four weekday evenings because it's my last good shot until the end of April.

So first off, X-Men Reversebang! I somehow managed to get online at just the right time for claims -- which, given that was literally the ONLY time I got on my laptop at all on Saturday, I'm kind of impressed with myself -- and then was lucky enough to land my first choice, which is by far the prettiest and everyone else can just go home. :P I kid, all the art was gorgeous, but anyway. I felt a bit guilty at first, because it looks like a lot of other people had wanted to claim that art, while my second choice remains unclaimed, and I'd actually had a much stronger plotbunny for my second choice but the one that I wound up marking as first was just so strangely compelling despite my lack of clear story idea that, well, yeah. I almost felt like I should offer to swap claims for a minute there. But having had a couple of days to mull it over, this morning I basically woke up with a sudden rabid plotbunny -- or, well, scattered-strong-images bunny, there is no plot yet, but I know several scenes I want to write with VIVID clarity and, yeah, I'm really glad I got this prompt. Haven't heard anything from my artist yet -- I sent her a long rambling excited e-mail early this morning, but no response -- but that's okay, I'm not really going to be able to start writing anything for a while yet. First priority this week is desperately trying to complete the next chapter of Queen's Gambit, though I make no promises. But it's a goal. I only have like 5k to write and I know what needs to happen in it, I don't know why I'm getting so hung up on this, but that's kind of been a general theme for this whole dratted fic. Oh, well.

Second, I FINALLY SAW HUNGER GAMES THIS AFTERNOON OMG OMG OMG. spoilers: IT WAS AWESOME )

...wtf?

Mar. 30th, 2012 01:58 pm
kaydeefalls: erik turns the warheads around, "peace was never an option" (never an option)
Is anyone else on DW getting BUCKETS of spam comments today? Because I am, and it's incredibly annoying. This happens occasionally on LJ, but this is the first time I've been hit on DW, and it's...quite a lot of them in a short span of time. I've just added a CAPTCHA setting for anon comments, hopefully that'll help.

Completely unrelatedly, I am feeling super meh about the X-Men Reverse Bang. Not because the art isn't lovely, because it totally is! There's a lot of really gorgeous artwork up there! But while I've enjoyed looking at it all, only a bare handful of the prompts interest me as a writer. Which makes me a super crappy unimaginative writer, I guess. There are plenty I'd be interested in reading but don't feel confident or interested in writing myself (i.e. a Regency!AU -- would love to read it, but I'm not really familiar enough with the historical period to feel comfortable writing it, Austen aside; this is where being a very research-committed writer trips me up, because I don't want to just wing it and Get Shit Wrong). There are a couple that do pique my interest strongly, but honestly, not enough to fill out the requisite quota of five options, and I would hate to put an artist into a situation in which they're stuck with a writer who isn't 100% thrilled about their prompt. Which probably means I should just drop out, but, man, I really do want to participate in this one. Urg. I'll sit on it and have another look through the prompts tomorrow and see if I can come up with five. Again, I can definitely pick WAY more than five beautiful pieces of art in the exchange. But some of the pieces I admire the most are for AU scenarios I just don't think I could write. Argh.
kaydeefalls: raven smiles brilliantly (raven hearts you)
And, what the hey, have a meme.

1. Go to page 77 (or 7) of your current ms.
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next 7 lines – sentences or paragraphs – and post them as they’re written.


Hilariously, Queen's Gambit currently stands (or sits heavily, given my lack of free time of late) at 115 pages in gdocs, but if I played by the rules, page 77 falls in a part that's already been posted, so that's no fun. So I'll go with page 7 of the current WIP chapter. Which...huh, turned out to be kind of an important shippy moment. And out of context, this could be pretty much any random modern!AU.

i write raven/angel now. raven/angel is cool. )
kaydeefalls: blank with text: "white. a blank page or canvas. so many possibilities..." (Default)
After spending an hour and a half futzing around, I have come to the conclusion that I am completely stupid when it comes to Tumblr. Everything about what that site is and how it functions is completely counterintuitive to the way my brain processes information. UGH. I like the pretty pictures! I just can't figure out how to do anything with the site except follow people. Which is cool. I've had an empty tumblr for months now for the sole purpose of following other people. And I honestly have no idea what I would post there myself, but I feel like I'm missing some crucial element of fandom interaction, and it saddens me. Anyway, I'm kaydeefalls on tumblr. There is nothing there. Possibly I will start clicking the reblog button when I see pretty pictures I particularly like, and pretend I'm somehow contributing to fandom. :/ (I can't even make my own pretty pictures anymore. My father insisted I install Lion on my laptop, which then rendered invalid my entire Adobe Creative Suite, and I can't afford to drop $700 on Photoshop right now. I am SO ANGRY about this, guys, you don't even know. I used Photoshop way more than I give even the smallest shit about any of the features in the OS upgrade.)

I'm also just deeply frustrated with life in general right now, so this may just be an offshoot of that. And it's been one of those mornings where the phone is ringing off the hook and people keep trying to make awkward small talk with me and I just want to be left alone for five fucking minutes. Um. Sorry about that.

ANYWAY. 2011 Year in Review Meme! Which I typed up like two weeks ago and then never posted. Whatever, I'm slow with these things. And mainly I had to wait for the [livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant reveals, because those totally add to my 2011 word count total.

2011 by the numbers )

fanworks )

year in review meme )

WIP snippets for 2012 )
kaydeefalls: charles looking at erik with hearts in his eyes omg (charles/erik)
[livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant authors have been revealed! Oh, man. A couple of those I totally guessed; others, I'm kind of smacking myself in the forehead for not figuring out immediately. And then, y'know, a bunch of authors I wasn't familiar with before, who now I obviously need to check out. If you like Charles/Erik and you haven't taken a look at this exchange yet, you really should. Ninety-five new fics, many excellent. Huge kudos to [livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash for organizing and running the damn thing.

And now I can properly thank [livejournal.com profile] argyleheir for her excellent gift, Practical Applications of Radioactive Material. READ IT! Erik and Charles keep running into other superheroes on their recruitment trip; I particularly adore Sue Storm in this one, but really, it's all just great fun and awesomeness. ♥

Also, I wrote some stuff?

Celestial Navigation (9470 words) by faviconkaydeefalls - or on LJ
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Characters: Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr, N'Dare Munroe, Ororo Munroe
Summary: Not everything has to be life or death. Sometimes it snows in September, just because a little girl wills it so.

From the sign-ups, it was pretty clear that [livejournal.com profile] ginbitch and I have pretty damn similar tastes in terms of canon fics set in the 1960s; I definitely got my period research kink on writing it. The prompt was for snow, which to me, obviously meant bb!Ororo had to be in there somewhere, which wound up mostly involving her mother, N'Dare Munroe. I kept their family backstory as close to comics!canon as possible -- N'Dare was Kenyan, one of long line of priestess-sorceresses; she married an American photojournalist, and Ororo was born in Harlem. They move to Egypt when Ororo is very young. I couldn't find anything suggesting N'Dare was herself a mutant, so that bit's all mine. Also, it's kind of a love letter to New York City (my hometown), and it let me get inside Charles's enormous head way more than I've ever really thought about before. Telepathy is weird, guys. So that's that one.

&

I Ain't Scared of Lightning (13107 words) by faviconkaydeefalls - or on LJ
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Characters: Erik Lehnsherr, Charles Xavier, Alex Summers, Moira MacTaggert, Armando Muñoz, Angel Salvadore, Hank McCoy, Raven Darkholme
Summary: Canon!AU. "Shaw has someone very dear to me," Charles said in a low tone. "You're not the only one playing for keeps, Erik."

Pinch hit of doom! I have no fucking clue where this came from, except that I had this image in my head of Charles on the Coast Guard ship flanked by Darwin and Angel, and Erik being like, daaaaamn. But it was kind of an intense ride for me -- most of it was written frantically over the course of last weekend, as, um, you might have noticed. I'd originally intended to include flashbacks of Charles & Raven's altered backstory, but when I realized how massive the main plotline was becoming, I cut them all out. Possibly there's another fic in there; possibly there's also another fic continuing the AU version of events through the end of the movie. Possibly I should just leave it be. My main regret with this is that I didn't have the time to fully explore the changes in Charles's outlook on the world due to losing Raven so early on -- I think he'd be much more pragmatic and less optimistic about the Shaw situation, and far less scrupulous about his own use of his powers to achieve his goals. And, on the flip side, he would actually be able to understand Erik's point of view much better -- there wouldn't be such a wide chasm of miscommunication between them, which would serve both them and the team much better in the long run. I'm not sure how well any of that came across. But it was interesting to explore. (Original prompts from [livejournal.com profile] confusedkayt: badassery leading to kissing, holding one another, Erik connecting with Alex. I did manage to incorporate all three!)

So...yeah. That happened. :)

why not.

Jan. 6th, 2012 11:10 am
kaydeefalls: angel will charge double for both (double for both)
Stealing the idea shamelessly from many Yuletiders and also [livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash:

Guess my [livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant fics! Posting finishes later today, and I think reveals are sometime tomorrow. Lots of people do this for Yuletide, which I think is silly because there are approximately WAY TOO DAMN MANY fics involved in Yuletide for guessing to be at all viable, but [livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant only has like a hundred fics to sort through. I think I have been staggeringly obvious about one of mine on this journal, but what the hell, it's not like I'm going to take off points for my own carelessness in posting about it.

Hints:
-I wrote two fics.
-Both are more than double the minimum word count for the exchange; neither are the longest fic written for it.
-They are not written with the same POV character(s).
-One is AU, the other is not.
-No guarantee that both have already been posted, as the exchange is not quite finished yet.
-No, seriously, staggeringly obvious, the both of them.

And anyone who guesses either of them right gets a ficlet of their choice. Which, given my inability to write short fics, who knows what that'll turn into.

Comments screened. :)

well shit.

Dec. 30th, 2011 05:46 pm
kaydeefalls: wash's dinosaurs: "curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" (curses! foiled again!)
My [livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant pinch hit plot keeps growing like the fucking Blob, guys, I don't even know. I thought I'd cleverly slashed it in half by cutting out all the backstory I'd originally planned on writing, but that apparently just opened the door to everything else spiraling out of fucking control. I am seriously concerned that Jan 2 will roll around and I will have to stop, close the document, and write 500 words of fluff from scratch to fill one of the prompts and then finish this as a completely separate fic later. :/ UGH. WHY CAN I NOT WRITE SHORT THINGS.

But anyway, people should go check out [livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant, because there's a whole lot of Charles/Erik goodness being posted there every day this and next weeks. And if anyone guesses either of the fics I wrote, I will totally write you a ficlet* of your choice. (This also goes for Yuletide, incidentally, but that challenge is so damn huge that I don't actually expect anyone to somehow pick out my one little fic out of the two thousand and change posted.)

I mean, no guarantee that my original [livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant fic has been posted yet, obviously. And my pinch hit will probably be super fucking obvious, if only because it will probably go up on the very last day of the challenge and, well, there are several other reasons it is painfully obviously a [personal profile] kaydeefalls creation, what with the stupid amount of plot slammed in around the very short and simple prompts the recipient requested. ASSUMING I EVER FINISH IT.

And then I'll have four days after that's due to finish my [community profile] festivids vid. EEP. Me and the seasonal challenges, guys, what the hell was I thinking?

*And by "ficlet", I mean "absurd plotty epic", who am I kidding.
kaydeefalls: charles looking at erik with hearts in his eyes omg (charles/erik)
[livejournal.com profile] secret_mutant fic done! Now it just needs, y'know, a beta. And for me to reread it when I'm not a wee bit tipsy. (Finishing fics drunk after a pub crawl: not highly recommended. On the other hand, alcohol breaks through writer's block like nobody's business.)

I'm not usually a music-oriented person when I'm working on fic, though I do have a generic writing playlist of soothing background noise. (And I write a lot of Boden's Mate / Queen's Gambit with the Inception soundtrack on loop.) But seriously, Tom McRae is my Charles/Erik fanmix. Every single damn song of his relates to them in some way or another, I swear to god. And I'm not usually the sort of person who assigns every love song on the radio to my current OTP. This is NOT normal for me. And yet. Guys, the dude has a song titled "Ghost of a Shark", and that is not even the most fitting element of the song. ("I'm gonna leave any minute...") For this fic, in particular, I've been listening to "Best Winter", "Houdini and the Girl" ("He says I’ve been under the water / I’ve been under the ground / And honey one thing’s certain / There’s no escaping now"), and "Sound of the City" ("And I watch you fall from a great height / and you watch me fail night after night"), but...ugh. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, and Tom McRae is totally their soundtrack for ever and ever amen.

And now I need to write Yuletide. FUCK.
kaydeefalls: drunk!raven pointing at YOU (queen's gambit)
So, November, really not my month. I shall not miss it. My show closes Sunday, which is such a relief, you don't even know. I am counting down the days, guys. FREE TIME AND WEEKENDS. THEY SHALL BE MINE. (I love working in theater, really. Except when I kind of hate it.)

And my new!roommate moved in Monday. She's very nice, but still, the adjustment period is very weird. I am sharing my apartment with a complete stranger. So weird.

Today I finally finished the draft of the next Queen's Gambit chapter and sent it off to beta, thank fucking god. I got stuck on this one dratted scene for yonks and yonks, it was very frustrating. But! Draft done now! All 11k words of it. *headdesk* (Seriously, when people post "chapters" on AO3 that are like 1k words apiece, I get really confused and kind of annoyed. Short fics are awesome, and posting in pocket-sized bursts on a kinkmeme makes total sense because, y'know, comment limits, but if you're claiming to write a multichaptered epic? 1k words isn't a chapter, it's a fucking SCENE. Just own it.) And I'm pretty sure this one is going to end up longer than Boden's Mate, which, are you fucking kidding me, why. I mean, I know why. For all the big ensemble cast and multiple POVs and plot twists, Boden's Mate had one very simple storyline (Erik's revenge on Shaw). Everything else was peripheral to that -- Charles rescuing himself, Raven finding family, etc. This one, on the other hand...well, overall it's sort of Raven's revenge on Cain, but the real point of it all is Raven and Alex coming into their own. There's Raven's plotline, and then there's Alex's plotline, and the two obviously overlap a lot since they're working together, but they're still essentially two separate, parallel stories, which each have their own peripheral subplots, and that all just gets...complicated. Maybe I should've split it up into two completely separate fics -- a Cain job for Raven and a Stryker job for Alex -- but on the other hand, part of what I love in storytelling IS that messiness, all those intertwined stories and overlaps and parallels and history repeating itself and coming of age narratives and...yeah. Life is complicated and doesn't necessarily follow a linear narrative. And that's cool.

Though, christ, I set out to write a wacky heist fic and suddenly it's all about, like, people with PTSD working their shit out in really messy ways. Oh, X-Men. I ♥ this deeply fucked up dysfunctional found family SO MUCH, ugh. (Also, I am kicking myself so hard for following First Class canon and killing off Darwin before the events of Boden's Mate. Damn it. Darwin would make everything easier. Well, this is part of why I'm also poking at a prequel.)

AND THEN SEASONAL CHALLENGES ARE UPON US. Memo to self: no, seriously, you need to work on these. For my own reference:
1. Yuletide - deadline Dec 22
status: happy with assignment, need to revisit source, have vague scenario in mind but no real plot to speak of
2. Secret Mutant - deadline Dec 22
status: vague potential maybe idea? memo to self: fic does not need to be a fucking epic. The minimum is 500 words. That's like maybe an hour of writing. THIS IS NOT HARD.
3. Festivids - deadline Jan 7
status: song chosen, 1min of vid complete, just keep swimming
4. White Lotus - deadline ?
status: assignments not yet sent out, definitely not worth worrying about

And hopefully get another chapter of Queen's Gambit in there somewhere, maybe. Or the theater AU. It's a good thing I'm not starting another show until the end of January, let me tell you.

< / boring blather >
kaydeefalls: havok smirking like the cocky bastard he is (here comes trouble)
Okay, there were legit things I was going to post about, but never mind. I was thinking idly about X-Men fic while walking down the street, and I saw a bus with a poster for the new Alvin & the Chipmunks movie (which, ugh, why), so now all I have for you is this:

Alvin = Alex, Simon = Hank, Theodore = Sean.

I CANNOT UNSEE IT.
kaydeefalls: erik turns the warheads around, "peace was never an option" (never an option)
Guys, when did I become someone who writes AUs? I never write AUs! And yet clearly I have planted myself firmly in AU-land for the XMFC fandom.

So [livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash link to this Damn, Your Fandom Is Good At What You Do Fest, and, being trapped in the hellish depths of tech week, of course, of course, now I feel a burning desire to write a Take Your Fandom To Work fic where Hellfire Theater Club is heading into tech for "Children of the Atom", the horrible new post-apocalyptic drama written and directed by Sebastian Shaw, who's also the artistic director of the theater, which is like the clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks.

Charles is the stage manager, who is preternaturally talented at remaining calm in a crisis and can like read people's minds and somehow keeps the actors from staging a coup and strangling their director with their bare hands. Sean is Charles's hapless ASM straight out of undergrad, this is his first professional show and he's squirrely as all get-out and smokes a LOT of weed to cope with Shaw's tyrannical demands. Darwin is the super-chill set designer who adapts his designs to the ever-shifting demands of the staging. Erik is the technical director, and he fucking hates everybody and this stupid set and the specs keep changing on a daily basis because Shaw keeps changing his fucking mind. Alex is Erik's master carpenter, who is much better at striking sets than building them, and Erik is constantly berating him. Moira is the super-competent production manager who keeps shit moving on something resembling a schedule. Janos is the sleek bitchy gay costume designer, Angel is the super-creative propsmaster, Azazel's the fight choreographer, Hank is stuck doing double duty as both lighting and sound designer, and he's brilliant, okay, but seriously, how do they not have a separate budget for sound? (Or maybe Sean's the sound designer, but I am deeply amused by the thought of him as ASM.) Raven's the lead actress and it's all her fault Charles got dragged into this shitshow. Emma's the chief drama critic at [local major newspaper] whom everyone sucks up to in the hopes of a good review.

There is no plot. Or, the plot is surviving until fucking opening. Oh god I need to not write this, no one else should be subjected to the comedy of errors that is my life.

old school!

Oct. 8th, 2011 08:01 pm
kaydeefalls: blank with text: "white. a blank page or canvas. so many possibilities..." (go BOOM!)
So I spent the past two evenings rewatching the first two X-Men movies, which I haven't actually sat down and watched in years. Now, of course, I'm seeing everything through the lens of First Class. And doing my best to ignore the continuity errors, because First Class is in many ways more of a reboot than a proper prequel. Still. I can actually see the evolution of Erik into Magneto far more directly than Charles into Professor X -- I think Fassbender's performance lines up with McKellen's better than McAvoy's with Stewart's. (Which isn't meant as a criticism -- from what I've read in interviews, the First Class actors were told to make the characters their own, and deliberately NOT to try to impersonate younger versions of the X1-X3 incarnations. So.)

But my god do I ever adore Ian McKellen's Magneto. He does legitimately AWFUL things, and yet I root for him the whole time. Because he is both snarky and baldly honest at all times, I think -- I have a huge amount of respect for that. Rogue asks if he's going to kill her, and he says yes, he is. Logan calls him on his hypocrisy (sacrificing Rogue instead of, y'know, himself) and he doesn't even attempt to argue otherwise. I'll take Magneto's brutal honesty over Xavier's constant evasions or lies of omission any day.

(I prefer McKellen's Erik and McAvoy's Charles, if I must choose. I just connect to those two individually more than Fassbender or Stewart. But both older and younger pairings have such utterly fantastic chemistry together, it really doesn't matter.)

And Mystique! No lie, I spent much of X-Men 1 yelling at her whenever she was onscreen, because NO HONEY NO, LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES, RAVEN WHY ARE YOU DELIBERATELY POISONING YOUR BROTHER'S CEREBRO JUICE, AND ALSO THAT THING WHERE YOU IMPERSONATE BOBBY TO BITCH OUT ROGUE IS SO FUCKING CATTY, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

But then X2 happens, and I swear to god, Mystique is actually the hero of that movie. Because she's like the only character who actually makes choices and ACTS rather than just reacting, and also, she is responsible for every single positive step forward the plot takes. LET ME SUM UP. In X2, Mystique:

1. Impersonates Senator Kelly, keeping the Mutant Registration Act off the Senate floor.
2. Attempts to protect the X-Men by insisting to the President of the United States that the mansion is just a school.
3. Finds out that Stryker is involved in Erik's imprisonment.
4. Hacks into Stryker's files to find the location of Erik's prison and intel on the guards.
5. ...and, oh yeah, that Stryker is building his own Cerebro.
6. Seduces the guard and injects iron into his bloodstream, enabling Erik to break out of jail.
7. Impersonates Logan to infiltrate Alkali Lake and kicks everyone's asses once she's inside.
8. Hacks into the Alkali Lake mainframe to find Cerebro.
9. Impersonates Stryker in Cerebro to convince Jason to alter his illusion.
10. Pilots the motherfucking helicopter off the dam.

Granted, there's also the bit with the attempted genocide, which she perpetrates, and leaving the X-Men behind to die. And attempting to seduce Logan for no reason except to fuck with his head, which, frankly, the way he keeps hitting on a basically-married woman who has turned him down at every single impasse and yet he never stops harassing her, I gotta side with Mystique on this one.

In contrast, our nominal hero Wolverine stabs some guys, steals yet another of Scott's vehicles, gets shot a bunch, and then abandons his entire team at Alkali Lake in order to get his own personal vengeance. Yeah, whatever. If it weren't for Mystique, Erik would still be in prison and then Charles would have killed all the mutants on the planet because the X-Men would never have put Stryker together with the assassination attempt, therefore never thinking to have Jean read Kurt's mind to find Alkali Lake in the first place.

So basically, this was a good reminder of why I'm writing Raven as primary protagonist in Queen's Gambit, especially given Stryker as the primary antagonist. Because Raven gets shit done while Logan's too busy manpaining.

(Also, the way Charles freezes the entire fucking museum just to tell off a couple of his students for showing off? Oh, Charles, you arrogant bastard. Your precious code of ethics is on a slippery fucking slope, isn't it?)
kaydeefalls: havok smirking like the cocky bastard he is (here comes trouble)
First off, guys, I am so sorry, I am like the dullest journal-writer in the history of people writing boring things about themselves. I see I've got some new friend-ofs on LJ, and for the record, no, it never gets more interesting than this. I apologize. My life, it is not ever worth writing about. One week into rehearsals on a new show, and it is actually driving me to drink. Like all of a glass of wine or whatever, but still, this makes three nights running I've turned to alcohol in order to quiet the Endless Loop Of Stress in my brain enough to fall asleep. This is VERY unusual for me. And mostly only due to the fact that my roommate opened a bottle of cheap wine on Thursday and told me I had to help her finish it before it went bad. But still. This show, man, I am not enjoying it much so far.

ANYWAY. (This is why I don't post about my life.)

So yeah, I spent the summer writing an insanely long XMFC/Inception fusion fic called "Boden's Mate". Which I finished a few weeks ago on the kinkmeme, and is still in beta, and will be posted properly...eventually, when it has been all beta'ed and stuff. That's not the point of this entry. The point of this is that I got to the end and realized that while THAT story was finished, I still had several other stories I was interested in telling in the same AU 'verse. So I started writing a sequel, which also throws a generous dash of Ocean's Eleven into the multifandom fusion mix, because I really love cons and heists and teams and implausible plot twists okay whatever DON'T JUDGE ME. And I intend to start posting it one chapter at a time, once "Boden's Mate" is edited and posted on AO3. Which could happen this week, or next month, I really don't know, RL has been deeply unfair to my beta of late so these things will happen at their own pace and it's not important.

But now that I've completed the first chapter (10k words, just one chapter, why did I ever fool myself into thinking this fic would be any shorter than the last), I would very much like to find a beta for the sequel. And, look, I know people post WIPs ALL THE TIME, and they somehow find wonderful, marvelous people to beta for them the whole way through, and I have no idea how that happens. I am a complete awkward turtle when it comes to interacting with people fannishly, and I always feel like an awful imposition whenever I ask someone to beta for me. Which is probably dumb, because I kind of LOVE playing beta for other people when they ask me, but I always judge myself on a horrible double standard in everything ever, it's a thing. All of which is my terrible long-winded way of saying: would anyone be willing to work with me as a beta throughout the process of writing/posting this sequel? And I don't mean just finding typos, but, y'know, pointing out the bits that don't make any fucking sense and making me clarify plot elements and smacking me upside the head when I invariably abandon character development in favor of nifty plot twists (which I am ALL TOO GUILTY OF, ALWAYS). And, yeah. Ugh, no one is going to be interested in this at all, how am I even posting this?

Because I don't know how else to ask.

So, yes, socially inept author in search of beta for ongoing WIP of XMFC/Inception/Ocean's 11 fic sequel thing. If you haven't been arsed to dig through endless comment threads on the kinkmeme to read the first fic (can't blame you there), I'm more than happy to pass along the most recent draft just so you know what the fuck I'm talking about. But yeah. It's...long. And plotty. And ensemble-based, with a generous helping of Charles/Erik and a developing side of Hank/Alex and quite possibly Raven/Angel because that's just how I roll. And it needs a beta.

I will bake you cookies.

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