cannot cope. off to mordor.

So I just spent my entire day in bed watching all of LotR in one sitting, after having spent the past week or so since seeing The Hobbit gradually rewatching all of the special features.

I REGRET NOTHING.

Seriously, though, now I remember why I was so thoroughly obsessed with those films and that fandom for so long. I mean, not that I'd forgotten, but still. Hadn't done a full rewatch in years -- not since college, I think -- and I don't think I ever did it all in one sitting even then. UGH HOW ARE THEY SO PERFECT. Intense feelings for twelve hours straight, right there. And goddamnit, the Grey Havens still make me tear up automatically. All the hobbits get teary all at once, I get teary. Then Frodo fucking smiles at them from the boat, and bam, cue gross sobbing. OH MY BOYS. I STILL LOVE YOU SO.

The problem, of course, is that all my favorite LotR fics from way back in the day were hosted on individual websites, all of which seem to have vanished off the face of the internet. I am seriously jonesing for some old-school Dom/Elijah or Merry/Pippin, guys, why did we not have AO3 back then and where have all those old fics gone?

See, this is why I've uploaded everything to AO3, even the shit I would prefer people not associate with my name. Because even the embarrassing stuff might have been something someone else really enjoyed and would like to revisit, and that's cool. I vividly remember that a couple of my onetime favorites really weren't all that well-written, but I don't fucking care, I want to reread Buffett's Surfing series goddamnit and it's GONE. (Seriously. The Wayback Machine captured like one or two chapters of it, but that's it. I looked.)

I do know that both LotR FPS and RPS fandoms are still chugging quietly along, and I'll browse through any more recent good stuff I can find, but man, I really wanted to have a good reread of the fandom classics, and they are (for the most part) nowhere to be found. Damnit.