Hey, look, I finished a thing. Which I started back in, like, October with the intention of just quickly churning out something light and simple as a palate cleanser after having finished the unexpected 70k fic, and before diving into what would likely be another longer fic.

It should not have taken me this long to write, and it absolutely should not be 36k in itself. But here we are.

find a way to make it make sense again (35921 words) by kaydeefalls
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring
Characters: Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, The Paris Squad (Heartstopper)
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, University, Future Fic, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Fluff, They're In Love Your Honor, minor relationship hiccups that come with growing up, Happy Ending, Non-Explicit Sex, Long-Distance Relationship
Summary:

"I promise you," Nick says, "literally the only thing getting me through this last term is knowing I finally get to be with you properly once it's over."

There's a note of desperation in his voice, and Charlie thinks about Nick's unplanned visit last weekend, the anxiety that seemed to pull him taut at unexpected moments, the underlying tension he couldn't quite put words to. Maybe it really is just Nick's mounting stress as his graduation approaches: a big, scary, looming Life Event that he's struggling to wrap his head around, and the extraneous stress is just spilling out all over them both.

Charlie hates the niggling doubt in the dark recesses of his brain that whispers, but what if it's something else? What if the problem is you?

University!fic. In which they're so close to not being long distance anymore, but something's clearly bothering Nick, and Charlie would really appreciate it if he would just talk to him about it already.

I'm 2/3 of the way through posting a Heartstopper fic, which I badly need to finish, but let's take a pause and celebrate Femslash February. I guess? Apparently I do still write Old Guard fic sometimes.

no one likes a mad woman (you made her like that) (2841 words) by kaydeefalls
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko
Characters: Quynh | Noriko, Andy | Andromache of Scythia
Additional Tags: Non-Linear Narrative, Character Study, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Quynh | Noriko, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Non-Graphic Violence, This is a weird one folks, and a bit on the dark side, author does not know how to tag this, Cameos From All The Usual Suspects, Canon Compliant
Summary:

The first time she met Andromache in the flesh, Quỳnh slit her throat. Andromache died with a smile on her lips.

So you see, this has always been their story.

Look, it's 2025. We survived thus far. That's all I have to say about it.

I've been pretty checked out of Yuletide this year, but I did in fact write a thing for it. Yay.

2024 writing roundup incoming as well, because it's the only annual reflection of any kind I ever do. But in the meantime, last completed fic of the old year:

only losers fight clean (3869 words) by kaydeefalls
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Ocean's Eleven Trilogy (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Danny Ocean/Rusty Ryan, Danny Ocean/Tess Ocean
Characters: Rusty Ryan, Danny Ocean, Tess Ocean, Assorted cameos
Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Reverse Chronology, Slice of Life, Non-Linear Narrative, Hijinks & Shenanigans, implied polyamory, references to Ocean's 8
Summary:

Five times Rusty saw it coming, and once he didn't.

I finished the thing! Missed my self-imposed deadline, but whatever, literally no one but me cares. I have no idea how a simple canon divergence about teenagers falling in love with barely any plot somehow hit 70k words, but hey, this means I've hit my personal word count goal of 100k+ for the year, so I'll take it. And 1.5 million words posted on AO3! Fun with statistics.


and we have all the time in the world (to get it right) (70529 words) by kaydeefalls
Chapters: 6/6
Fandom: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Minor or Background Relationship(s), James McEwan/Charles "Charlie" Spring
Characters: Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Tao Xu, Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Elle Argent, James McEwan, Tara Jones, Darcy Olsson, Sahar Zahid
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Romance, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Mental Health Issues, past charlie/james, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, as per canon, First Love, not so much slow burn as two idiots standing around on fire, queer found family is so important
Summary:

Charlie: NICK NELSON KNOWS I WAS IN HOSPITAL?!?!?!?!?!
Elle: It's ok Charlie I promise! He was really worried when you went awol this summer, it didn't feel right to lie to him
Isaac: srsly it was like kicking a puppy!! we just couldn't any longer
Isaac: Tao even lets him sit with us at lunch sometimes now, that's how bad it got.

In which Charlie's friend group adopted his impossible straight boy crush while he was in hospital, and now he might just have to deal with the fact that Nick is…maybe not so impossible after all.

(Canon divergence AU: Charlie already has a proper boyfriend when he first meets Nick in year 10. It changes some things. They still get there eventually.)

I once promised myself I would NOT write another Inception AU. Been there, done that, nothing new to say after already having written 175k of that kind of thing. I will gladly spend the rest of my time in various fandoms reading other people's Inception AUs instead. In early days of TOG fandom, lots of folks were discussing what roles each character would play on an extraction team, etc, and I happily awaited someone else to finally write the thing.

To the best of my knowledge, they didn't.

So here we are I guess.

what dreams may come (22208 words) by kaydeefalls
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova & Quynh | Noriko, Nile Freeman & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Characters: Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Quynh | Noriko, Nile Freeman, Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Booker | Sebastien le Livre
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Inception Fusion, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Canon-Typical Violence, Dreamsharing, Action/Adventure, POV Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Established Relationship, Ensemble Cast, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Dreams and Nightmares, Non-Linear Narrative, Temporary Character Death, as per both canons
Summary:

"What happens when you die in a dream?" Quỳnh asked him once.

Inception!AU. Nicky runs point for an extraction team, working in dreams to pry out subconscious secrets. Now they have to simultaneously navigate a new teammate, a worrisome job, and, of course, a potentially malevolent shade from their past haunting their dreams.

Since these are purely navel-gazing anyway, fuck it, I'm gonna do a 2023 fic roundup for all three damn fics I wrote. Because I like being able to come back and revisit these years later, and see where I've been.

This year I wrote and posted: 3 fics and 1 vid. Which is still better than some years, to be honest.

( fanfic yearly roundup, purely for my own mental health )

Happy 2024, folks. Somehow we survived 2023, and that's all the good I can say about it.

As reflected in the very, very few posts I made here, I only managed to complete three fics in all of 2023, which is a pretty reliable reflection of my mental health. On the plus side, one of them WAS the longest Old Guard fic I've ever written, so it's not like that's nothing. But for the first year since returning to fandom properly in 2019, I fell short of my annual goal of 100k words. Not terribly, though - I clocked in at around 72k - and no one but me cares about that, so I'm trying to go easy on myself.

On the personal front, my wife lost her (incredibly toxic and health-destroying) job last January, and after sending out 299 applications (that's not an exaggeration - she's been keeping track), finally landed part-time work a few weeks ago. That was rough, though honestly, her mental and physical health has been much better over this past year than when she was trapped in that horrible job situation, even with all the attendant stress and depression from unemployment. We've stayed afloat financially, and taking a part-time job for a while is not necessarily a bad thing, given her level of physical ability these days. So we'll manage. I got a significant promotion in the spring, which helped, and have almost entirely transitioned out of my old role by now, which is also a net positive for my own mental health. So...this was a transitional year for both of us, I guess, and hopefully bodes slightly better for the new year.

We have a new hamster now. His name is Samwise Hamgee. He started off very skittish, but he's been gradually warming up to us, and we rang in midnight with him being very soft and snuggly, so that was very nice.

I don't talk politics much in fannish spaces, but let's just say that being a leftist Jew working for a Jewish civil rights organization has been incredibly stressful, scary, and depressing these past few months. The Israel-Palestine conflict has been my entire work life since Oct 7, so when I'm more silent than I should be in fannish spaces, it's because fandom is my only fucking refuge right now, and I've discovered that it's not at all a safe space for me, either. I'm too pro-Palestine for work and not sufficiently anti-Israel for fandom, so I'm just keeping my mouth shut and trying to listen to as many voices who are actually on the ground as possible. So it goes.

Anyway. I did manage to Yuletide, at least. Have a very silly DnD fic.


Perception Check (Roll for Romance) (5903 words) by kaydeefalls
Fandom: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
Characters: Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar, Holga Kilgore, Kira Darvis
Additional Tags: the mortifying ordeal of crushing on the most irritating person you know, Romantic Comedy, Post-Canon, Non-Explicit Sex, crossdressing for disguise purposes, Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Summary:

"I bet Xenk fucks like a metronome, too. You know." Holga makes a highly suggestive, repetitive gesture. "In, out. In, out. No variation. Same exact rhythm every time. Boring."

Edgin stares at her, torn between horror and fascination. "You've really thought about this, huh?"

(So has he. Unfortunately.)

This whole year has just been...a lot. I don't even know how to update here anymore. But whatever, I'm getting through it somehow.

Hey look I actually finished a WIP without taking a yearslong hiatus in the middle. And it's somehow the longest Old Guard fic I've written to date. Weird.

Carthaginians (53165 words) by kaydeefalls
Chapters: 9/9
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Characters: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, or more specifically one night stand to enemies to friends to lovers, Slow Burn, sex is easy but feelings are hard, Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Punic Wars, Fall of Carthage, shockingly those are not common historical tags, author is a history geek, Ancient Rome, POV Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, war is not pleasant
Summary:

Historical AU set during the Fall of Carthage (2nd century BCE). When Carthaginian merchant Yusuf first met Nicolò in Rome, he thought him simply a pleasant night's distraction from the looming threat of war between their respective homelands. He did not expect to meet him again in battle outside the walls of Carthage—or, well...anything else that followed, really.

The problem with being too stressed and depressed to write all year so far is that I also then have no reason to update here. There have been some good things - promotion at work that involves shifting out of my shitshow of a department, yay, though the transition will take a while longer than I'd like. My wife is still unemployed (96 job apps and counting!), but we're managing for now, and unemployment is still honestly a net benefit for her mental and physical health over the job that completely destroyed them both over the past few years. And our hamster continues to be a goddamn delight. So. Getting through it.

I am now committing the great error of judgement that is posting a WIP while it's still very much not finished yet, which has historically not been so great for me. But on the flip side, I did eventually FINISH both of those longfic WIPs eventually, which I definitely would not have if I hadn't started posting them in the first place. Fingers crossed this works out for me. (It's also genuinely more than halfway written, with a very solid outline for the remainder, and I've got momentum on my side.)

But yeah, being halfway through May with zero new fics posted yet this year was just depressing me further, so yay, now I can at least point to SOMETHING I've been working on.

And who doesn't love an obscure historical AU, amirite?


Carthaginians (3730 words) by kaydeefalls
Chapters: 1/9
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Characters: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, or more specifically one night stand to enemies to friends to lovers, Slow Burn, sex is easy but feelings are hard, Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Punic Wars, Fall of Carthage, shockingly those are not common historical tags, author is a history geek, Ancient Rome
Summary:

Historical AU set during the Fall of Carthage (2nd century BCE). When Carthaginian merchant Yusuf first met Nicolò in Rome, he thought him simply a pleasant night's distraction from the looming threat of war between their respective homelands. He did not expect to meet him again in battle outside the walls of Carthage—or, well…anything else that followed, really.

(I won't spam DW with all the chapter updates - plan is to post a chapter per week until it's done, at which point I'll post again here.)

So my wife lost her job a couple of weeks ago, and this week we both came down with COVID (for the first time).

Banner year so far, 2023, really knocking it out of the park here.

ETA: and we just got notified that our landlord is increasing our rent by 10%. Wowwww.

...happy new year?

We've had my wife's son staying with us for the past two weeks, which has been great in a lot of ways but also means I have no me time at all and have totally checked out of everything, whoops. Also my team at work is severely understaffed (we are down to two people remaining of a team of five), which means everything is insane at all times and I don't have a minute to BREATHE let alone de-stress in any way. Like, literally the full-time workload of four techs has landed on just two of us, plus we've lost our boss and therefore have no executive backup. It sucks so much.

But I managed to Yuletide for the first time in several years, so yay! In contrast to how much a struggle writing everything else has been all year, this one was pretty quick and easy for me. Nice to have a breath of fresh air every now and then, yeah?

Into the Woods is one of my favorite musicals of all time, and it was fun to dabble in that fairy tale universe for a bit.


the tale you tell (2991 words) by kaydeefalls
Fandom: Into the Woods - Sondheim/Lapine, Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Baker/Baker's Wife (Into the Woods)
Characters: Baker's Wife (Into the Woods), Baker (Into the Woods), Witch (Into the Woods)
Additional Tags: Character Study, Introspection, Backstory, Canonical Character Death, POV Female Character, Romance, Non-Linear Narrative
Summary:

She never pretended to be the hero of this particular story.

Memo to self: if you start a fic and then abandon it for a year and half, possibly using that fic to sign up for a Big Bang challenge is not actually the brightest idea.

Anyway I somehow pulled this out entirely at the last minute. TOG/Star Trek crossover, like you do. Because the fun thing about The Old Guard is that futurefic crossovers don't even need to be AU.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Strange-Eyed Constellations (22968 words) by kaydeefalls
Chapters: 8/8
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien & Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf & Nicky | Nicolò & Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Characters: Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Quynh | Noriko, Booker | Sebastien le Livre, T'Pring (Star Trek), James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek)
Additional Tags: Future Fic, the old guard...IN SPACE!, Crossover, Ensemble Cast, POV Multiple, Team as Family, all the found family feels, Action/Adventure, finding your place in an increasingly expanding universe, no Trek knowledge required for entry, Canon-Typical Violence, Grief/Mourning
Summary:

Future!fic. Humanity has spread out amongst the stars, and Nile and her team are struggling to figure out where they fit in: out in the furthest reaches of the galaxy, or home on Earth with those who still remain. Dreams of a new immortal don't exactly simplify matters.

"Think it's time to get the band back together?" Nile asks.

"As if Nicky or Joe would let us collect the new kid without them." Booker regards her steadily. "Think it'll be enough to get Quỳnh back on a ship?"

"Guess we'll find out. Because…"

She hesitates, as though saying it aloud will make it too real. So Booker says it for her.

"Because that desert was nowhere on Earth," he finishes. "And the girl in our dreams wasn't human."

Well, I survived the summer, and that's about all I have to say about the past few months.

Anyway, have a ridiculous modern AU.

must be an imaginary love (to start with) (26500 words) by kaydeefalls
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Characters: Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Andy | Andromache of Scythia, strong cameos from all the usual suspects
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Football | Soccer, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, POV Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, they're idiots your honor, Misunderstandings, Minor Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Everyone Is Gay, working title was "gay kickball fake dating" and i stand by that, past joe/omc and nicky/omc
Summary: In which Nicky joins a queer football club, makes some new friends, and offers to help Joe piss off his ex by pretending to be his new boyfriend. This is a very reasonable scheme that will definitely not lead to any feelings whatsoever.