i am a pretentious theatre person.

[kaydeefalls]

I am consoling myself over the utter crap of my audition by reminding myself that the parts I play reasonably well tend to fall into the "housewives or harlots" category of smallish, comedic roles. Whereas the two monologues I had to read for the audition were both of the lovelorn heroine types, which I detest and am no good at acting. So. Plus, doing a cold reading of an unfamiliar Shakespeare play? Really not a good idea. I never really stood a chance with this audition. At my best, I would have been mediocre for these parts.

This is actually rather comforting. If I had fucked up an audition for a good part or for a play I really loved, it would be much worse.

I'm also quite glad that I'm much more inclined toward (and more talented at) directing, because having directed several times, I've become very good at judging myself as an actor. So I know when I'm crap and am able to get over it and accept not being cast long before the cast list goes up. It cuts down the disappointment.

The play where being American screwed me over, however, I'm still bitter about. Because there I DID audition well, and DID read for the sort of part I'd be good at. Hmph.