'Little Things' 4/4

[kaydeefalls]

Done. All done. Woot!

Title: Little Things - Beginning (4/4)
Author: kaydee falls (OneRingDoodle@aol.com)
Pairing: DM/EW, references to DM/OB, OB/EW, DM/BB
Rating: R
Summary: Every ending is a beginning somewhere else.
Archive: TAKE IT. PLEASE... just tell me where
Feedback: is to kaydee as water is to flowers
Disclaimer: none of this happened. i don't know the sexuality of anyone involved.
Notes: yes, folks, the end is in sight. last part. huzzah. BIG thank you to Gabby.


It's the first time in my life I've ever been the first person in makeup. I even beat the makeup girls.

The trailer is eerie in the half-light. I don't bother flicking on the harsh fluorescent lamps -- I like it better this way. It suits my mood. Bottles and tubes of various sizes line the counter, casting blue smudges of shadow. The mirrors almost glow, reflecting every hint of light in the trailer: the sharp glint of metal, the faint beginnings of dawn creeping through small windows, the dim shine bouncing off plastic prosthetics. Costumes are shadowy blurs, my own face is a vaguely defined outline.

It's a good place to sit and think.

But not for long. Abruptly, the trailer door swings open and the lights come on. Blinking through the sudden glare, I recognize my favorite makeup girl.

"Jesus, Dominic, are you trying to give me a bleedin' heart attack?" Natasha demands, stalking in. She's followed by three others: Bridget, Laura, and one I don't recognize.

"Yes," I tell her, grinning impishly. "Where's Maddie?" Maddie usually deals with Sean.

"Upgraded to orc fitter," Bridget drawls, dropping her handbag on the counter. "Lucky bint. Doesn't have to deal with you bloody hobbits anymore."

"She'll miss us after she has to stare at those hideous orcs all day," I retort.

"Better orcs than elves," Laura comments, getting her makeup equipment together. "Fucking ponces. I hate pretty boys."

Bridget grins. "And better elves than hobbits. No stinky feet."

"Whose feet are you calling stinky?" I demand. I kick off my shoe and wiggle my toes at her.

Natasha steps over to slap my foot. "Behave." She gestures to the new girl, who looks more than a little nervous. "This is Lydia." To Lydia, she adds, "This one plays Merry. His name's Dominic. It's a toss-up between him and Elijah for worst hobbit; they both squirm around too much by half. Avoid 'em. They're mine and Laura's bad luck to deal with. Billy usually sits there; he can keep still, but he's a shameless flirt, and he'll drive you mad."

"I resent that," I protest. "I'm just as good a flirt as Billy."

She doesn't miss a beat. "No, lately you've been too busy being openly gay." Ignoring my dropped jaw, she turns back to the new girl. "Anyway, leave Billy to Bridget. You get to work on Sean. Count your blessings. He's a doll."

Billy wanders in sleepily at this point. "Boyd, help me!" I call. "We're being woefully misrepresented!"

He blinks at me, then looks at Natasha. "I expect more from you, Tash me love," he chides. "He isn't gobsmacked enough to shut up yet."

"Give me time."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" I protest.

Billy just grins and claps me on the back. He plops down into his usual seat. "You're here early today, Monaghan."

"Couldn't sleep," I mutter. I glance at him hesitantly. "Sorry."

His eyes don't leave mine, but he addresses Natasha and Bridget (who've begun assembling their makeup around us). "Time to go deaf, loves."

"Who, us?" Bridget says. "Didn't even realize you were talking." She immediately strikes up a loud conversation with Natasha about last night's date.

"S'all right," Billy tells me quietly. "I was miffed about it for all of two minutes. Then I was grateful. Didn't particularly fancy discussing our evening with morning breath."

"Yeah," I say, relieved. "Me neither."

Bridget tugs on his head gently and starts applying gel to his hair. Natasha begins the same process with me. We sit in silence for a moment.

Billy isn't allowed to move, but his eyes seek out mine in the mirror. "It was just a one-night thing, aye?"

I swallow nervously. "I don't know, was it?"

He pauses for a second, then gives me a wry grin. "I think it's better this way."

"All right." Anxiously, I add, "We're still mates, right?"

"The best," he says with a warm smile. I feel just a bit lighter inside.

The trailer door bursts open, and Elijah and Sean scramble inside. "Are we late?" Sean demands.

"We're really, really sorry," Lij adds breathlessly. "It's my fault, I overslept, and then I didn't hear Sean banging on my door, and we got here as soon as we could--"

"You're fine," Laura laughs. "Don't worry about it. We've missed you, dears."

Watching Elijah's reflection in the mirror, I can see his face light up with his trademark grin. "Of course you have," he chirps. He heads for his area, stopping to hug Billy around the neck. "Good to see you, Bills."

"Hello, Lijah," Billy replies, beaming.

Elijah glances at me, and his enthusiasm dims a little. "Hey, Lij," I say softly, offering him a tentative smile.

"Hey, Dom," he replies in the same tone. He gives my shoulder a light squeeze as he passes, but that's all. Well, I guess I'll have to take what I can get.

Sean also gives Billy a small hug, but he goes by me without a glance. What the fuck? The one person I can't possibly have offended is now ignoring me. Lovely.

"Don't mind Sean," Billy murmurs. "He's just worried about Lijah. I think you may have set off his Mother Hen mode."

"Brilliant. How do I turn it off?"

"Just bat your pretty eyes at him and give him a good pout," Natasha says unexpectedly.

I blink up at her. "What the hell?"

She shrugs, applying my wig carefully. "It works on Elijah, doesn't it?"

"No, it's mainly Elijah's baby blues that work on Dommie," Billy quips.

"So I noticed," she says dryly. "His eyes are overrated." She pokes me. "Now you, Dominic, you have fucking gorgeous eyes."

I blink at her again with my fucking gorgeous eyes. "What the hell?" I repeat. Billy is shaking with laughter.

When he finally composes himself, he pats me on the shoulder. "There's no reason to be frightened," he says consolingly. "We're just fools in love."

Natasha and I both smack him.

He grins, then looks serious. "I don't think you should bat your eyes at Sean, though," he adds. "He'd probably kick your arse."

* * * * *

I squirm my way through hours of makeup and Feet. Sean is finished before me, but just barely. I snatch Merry's cloak off its hanger and jump out of the trailer after him.

"Oi! Sean!" I call, trying not to trip over the Feet. He's waiting for me, arms crossed, an uncharacteristically stern expression on his face.

"Dominic," he says tonelessly.

I struggle with the clasp of my cloak, hurling silent curses at it. "You've been pointedly ignoring me all morning. What've I done NOW?"

"You've got a brother, haven't you?" His voice is even, calm. His normally friendly eyes are dark and unreadable.

"Uh, yes..."

"Older or younger?"

"A few years older," I say impatiently. "Sean, why--"

He cuts me off. "Did you ever have your heart broken, as a kid?"

I think I'm starting to figure out where he's going with this. "Yeah. Once. I was about twelve. I went on one date with this girl, Jenny Wilson. Anyway, she was my first kiss. The next day she broke up with me, and told the whole school what a lousy kisser I was." My ears burn slightly at the memory.

Am I imagining it, or did Sean's expression just soften a bit? "What did your brother do?"

I grin. "Stood up for me in the schoolyard. Threatened to beat up any of the blokes who teased me about it. He even went to Jenny and told her she was bloody lucky 'cause if she weren't a girl, he'd've kicked her arse."

"Right," Sean says. "So tell me why I shouldn't kick your ass right now."

"Because you're not Elijah's big brother," I sigh. "Besides, I didn't do anything to him."

His eyes harden again. "No?"

"He shagged Orli, not me. Maybe I lost my temper, a little..."

"You really hurt him."

"He really hurt me!" I stuff my hands into my vest pockets, where they don't have room to form fists. I will not fight with Sean. I will not. "Please don't go all overprotective on me, Sean. Elijah's a big boy now. He can look out for himself."

Sean sighs. "I thought so, too, until he went and slept with Orli."

"So talk to Orli."

"Believe me, I mean to. He was a selfish prick, to move in on Lij just to spite you. But at least he was clear about what he wanted from Elijah." Sean glares at me. "You, on the other hand, were leading him on."

My fucking gorgeous eyes practically pop out of my head. "What?"

"Christ, Dom, you just kept going back to him!" he exclaims. "I lost track of the mornings when I'd pick up Lij to hear, 'Oh, Dom came over again last night,' 'Dom and Orli fought again,' 'Sean, do you think maybe Dom likes me better than Orli?'" He shakes his head. "Maybe I forget how mature Lij is because he looks so young, but I think you forget how young he is because he acts so maturely. He's barely more than a kid, Dom. You got his hopes up, then never delivered."

Maybe if I close my eyes, it'll all go away.

"Look at me, Dominic." So much for that trick. I look at him. He doesn't seem so angry anymore. Just resigned. "Couldn't you have gone to, I don't know, Billy instead? You know, someone who doesn't want to jump your bones?"

I almost burst out laughing at the irony. Almost. "I didn't know," I say.

Sean's brow furrows. "Didn't know?"

"Yeah, that Elijah..." I scratch the back of my neck, ducking my head. "Billy just told me yesterday," I explain lamely.

"Oh," Sean says, after a moment. "Oh, jesus. How could you not have known?"

"I never thought to look for it."

"Oh," he says again. He clears his throat. "Well. That changes things a little. I'm still pissed at you, mind," he adds hastily.

"Glad to hear it," I mutter. "Look, I'm sorry I 'led him on.' I'm sorry I didn't realize. I'm sorry I was Orli's boyfriend, and I'm sorry Orli and I fought." My voice is rising steadily. "I'm sorry Orli shagged Lij, I'm sorry that upset me, and I'm sorry I didn't just jump straight into Lij's arms. Damnit, Sean! What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing," Sean says softly. "Tell it to him." He points at someone behind me.

I turn, and of course Elijah is there. Brilliant. "How long have you been--"

Lij shrugs, expressionless. "Long enough," he says tonelessly. "Come on, Sean, let's--"

"Wait!" I grab Lij's arm. Sean makes good his escape. "You asked me not to avoid you, so you bloody well aren't about to start avoiding me."

He shakes off my hand, but stays. He eyes me guardedly. "So."

"So."

"I knew you didn't..." he starts, then bites his lip. "I mean, I could tell you didn't know. I didn't want you to. Sorry about Sean."

I force a smile. "Sean cares about you."

"I already have an older brother," Elijah snaps. "I don't need another one." He sighs. "I appreciate what he's trying to do, but..."

"I know." There's a long pause. Lij fidgets with his hands. "I am sorry that I blew up at you, though."

He shrugs. "I was asking for it. I still don't know what I was thinking."

"If you can't get what you want, you take what you can get," I say softly. "Even someone as thick as I am can understand that."

Lij laughs shortly. "It was your fault, you know. I was used to asking you if I could help, and all you ever wanted was a beer or something. It never occurred to me that Orli might ask for anything else."

"Yeah, well, that's Orli for you," I say, not quite bitterly. "Have you spoken to him since..."

"Not yet." He stares at his prosthetic feet. "Are you two going to, um, get back together?"

No. I don't fancy going through all that again, thanks. "Don't think so."

Elijah's voice is very small. "I don't suppose there's any chance that we..." He trails off, and looks at me. It's there, in his eyes. Oh, christ. I've seen that expression before, just never recognized it for what it was. Thanks for reminding me of what a blockhead I am, Lij.

And I push it away. "I can't," I say, swallowing hard. "I just... I'm not ready."

Looking at his face, I can practically see the door slamming shut. "Okay," he says quietly. "I'm sorry that I'm not Orli."

I want to shake my head, to grab him and say that that's not it, not what I meant, not at all. I want to tell him that I'm fucking scared, how I'd thought there was only Orli and how I'd been terrified to realize that maybe there had always been Lij, too. To explain how I'd gotten so used to defending myself, to vocally denying any feelings for Lij that I'd even convinced myself. All these little things, adding up to 'I can't.'

"Hey," I say instead. "You're Elijah. That's ten times better, isn't it?" I grin at him.

He returns the smile, transforming himself back into the friendly little imp I'd met in hobbit training. "But of course!" he says, striking a pose. "Child star and teen idol extraordinaire! Line up, girls -- and boys."

"So go pull your heartthrob shit in Emyn Muil," I say, giving him a little shove. "Some of us have to work for a living, y'know."

He sticks his tongue out at me, then hesitates. "Still friends?"

"Still friends."

He flashes me a grin, then goes off after Sean. My own smile fades as I watch him go. Friends. Well. This is what I wanted, right?

So why do I feel so fucking disappointed?

* * * * *

Orli finds me during our lunch break. "Hey," he says.

"Hey," I reply.

He stares at the ground, the air behind my left ear, my chin, anywhere but my eyes. "I talked to Doodle," he mutters. "I asked him if you two... if you ever... He was furious. He said no."

I don't feel angry, or even vindictive. "You should've believed me."

"I know. I was wrong, okay?"

"Yeah. Well. So was I, I guess. You didn't go to Lij to spite me or anything. It was just a comfort thing."

"No," he says, after a pause. "No, I was angry. I wanted revenge. I took it."

I shrug. I think about Billy, and how wonderfully avenged I'd felt when we... "Maybe it was a mixture of both."

Orli looks curiously at me, then sighs. "Truce?"

Truce. Not peace. Truce. "Truce," I agree. We shake on it.

He glances sidelong at me. "D'you suppose we could--"

"No," I say firmly. I don't want to go back. "You told Elijah it was over. It was."

"Yeah," he says, a little disappointed. "I'm sorry."

"So am I."

* * * * *

"I made up with Orli and Lij," I tell Billy as we walk out of makeup at the end of the day.

His grin shines through the growing twilight. "That's great! Isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess."

He raises an eyebrow suggestively. "So are you and Lijah...?"

"No!" I say, too quickly. "It doesn't work out that easily," I add, more calmly. "It's too crazy and fast. I know what he wants, but I don't know if I want the same thing. I'm just not ready."

"Don't be an idiot," Billy scoffs. "Take the chance while you've still got it." He shakes his head. "Some blokes have all the luck."

I don't feel particularly lucky, and I don't respond. We reach our cars in silence.

"Well?" I say, finally.

"Well what?"

I cross my arms. "You said that when I made up with Orli and Lij, you'd tell me who you fancied."

"Oh, that," he says distantly. "I lied."

"That's not fair!"

He grins and kisses me lightly on the cheek. "G'night, Dommie." He hops into his car, waves cheerfully through the window, and drives off.

* * * * *

My house feels very empty. Peace and quiet and time to myself -- all things that I definitely don't want right now, if I ever did. I just don't function properly when I'm alone. I need someone to bounce off of.

And I really, really need to stop thinking.

We've been learning yoga as part of our physical training. Supposedly it does wonders for concentration and focus, and other shit like that. I have yet to see proof of any of this, but that doesn't necessarily mean it isn't true. Maybe it will work tonight.

I arrange myself into one of those blasted positions whose names I can never remember. Some kind of flower, probably. I can hear my trainer saying, *Concentrate on your body, Dominic. Clear your mind.* Right. Simple as that.

Except that once I think about clearing my mind, I can't. Little things keep popping into my head. Minor details, like a certain pair of impossibly blue eyes. A friendly hand on my shoulder. How it was so easy for me to say "I love you" to a mate like Lij, but never to Orli.

Fuck yoga.

Elijah is sitting on the stairs leading up to his front door, smoking a cigarette absently. I notice the little things -- the way the smoke curls out into the night when Lij exhales, his tousled hair and glassy eyes, the sound of my own feet crunching in the gravel driveway.

I sit down next to Lij quietly. He doesn't look at me, but scoots over a bit to make room. He takes another drag on his cigarette, carefully blowing the smoke away from me.

"Hey, Lij," I say softly.

Elijah drops the cigarette, stubs it out with his toe. A thin wisp of white smoke drifts upward, then vanishes. He glances at me. "Hey."

I shift a little, bumping his shoulder lightly, a careless gesture of affection. "What's wrong?"

Lij's smile doesn't reach his eyes. "Well, you see, there's this guy I'm interested -- more than interested in. Problem is, he's still mooning over this other guy."

"You're sure about that?" I choose my words carefully.

He eyes me guardedly. "I was."

"Oh." I hesitate, take a deep breath, exhale. And -- "Anything I can do to help?"

He's silent for a long moment. I sag against the railing a little. Fuck. I missed it. I missed my chance, lost it, and I'll never have it again. I turned him down too many times, hurt him too much.

I look up at his face, and realize that his smile has finally reached his brilliant blue eyes.

"I think there's a football match on," Elijah says. "And I've still got a couple of beers left in the fridge. Care to join me?

"Sure," I reply, and find that I can breathe again.

He stands, offering me a hand. I clasp it, and he pulls me up with an exaggerated groan. Grinning, I follow him into the house.

We sit together on the couch in comfortable silence, barely noticing the match blaring away on the telly. Lij is warm against my shoulder, and his short, tousled hair is soft against my cheek when he leans in too close. Occasionally he glances over at me, then looks away, oddly shy.

I don't know who's going to make the next move. It doesn't matter. I smile to myself contentedly, secure in the knowledge that sooner or later, one of us will.

THE END

Comments

[laursies.livejournal.com]

The makeup girls cracked me up. And it had a satisfying ending, tied up all of the loose ends. Good job! *applauds*

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it...
(Memo to self: somewhat unnecessary OCs have succeeded in creating humorous diversion. Score!)

[funkyreunion.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was lovely. *applauds*

[lush-rimbaud.livejournal.com]

squee! good! we likes it, my preciouss, yes we does. hee hee, makeup girls.

you wouldn't consider writing a sequel, would you?

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Lydia. Glad you enjoyed your little self-insertion. And no sequel, dammit (unless you write the smut for it)! Btw, how is your as-yet-unfinished fic coming along? ...any of them?

[lush-rimbaud.livejournal.com]

*perks up*

Smut? I can write smut!

and as for my fics... *bangs head on desk* Actually, not that bad. The first draft of the Rosie-fic would be done except that she is forcing me to write a sex scene for her, and... ew. I would be making progress on the second chapter of the Domlij thing instead, except that I've been having an attack of hypochondria and I can't write because I have to keep running to look in the mirror to see if I'm going to die.

*groans* when we get back to school I'm going to kill Mirkin. This is all his fault.

[troisroyaumes]

Erm...if it isn't being too nosy or anything, why's it Mirkin's fault? Bad experience with het or did he say something nasty to you? 'Cause if he did, you know Hattie and I are willing to slow-roast him over live coals for you, y'know? Ain't it nice having friends of violent tendencies? Okay, so I'm more of the violent imagination than tendency, but still...

Oh and kaydee? Thanks for the happy Domlijah ending! (Okay, okay, I KNEW you had it all written out before, but I'm still pleased nevertheless.)

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[tvillingar.livejournal.com]

Oh thank god this turned out to be a happy story after all. Otherwise I'd been seriously depressed. I don't want to kick anyone anymore ;) *curls into a bundle like a cat and purrs* Thank you, it was a really good story.

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I keep trying to write unhappy stories, but they depress me. So. Yes. We take pity on the poor boys. No kicking.

Erm...nice kitty?

[ex-karone289.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say how amazing you are. :) Your story is...just...wow. The emotions behind everyone...and the end was just so perfect.