kaydeefalls | oh. my. god.

I have seen RotK.

Yes, it's THAT GOOD.

This is not exactly a review, because I've been left rather incoherent. But comparing Fellowship and Two Towers to Return of the King is like comparing the Godfather Part 3 to Godfather Part 1. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space vs. Star Wars. It BLOWS THE FIRST TWO AWAY.

Yes, cuts were made. Gone are the Houses of Healing, the Faramir/Eowyn, any Saruman, and a lot of Merry. And changes? Well, yeah. Pippin AND Merry fight in the last battle (no troll, btw). Frodo fights Gollum a lot more at the end. But fuck that shit, this is solid gold.

We have (as chronologically as I can remember them):
-holy shit Smeagol and Deagol, <3 Andy Serkis liek whoa
-Merry and Pippin greeting Theoden et all in Isengard
-GOLLUM YOU RAT BASTARD
-Merry and Pippin table-dancing again!
-OMG PALANTIR
-Denethor creeps me the fuck out
-the Merry/Pippin separation, cryyyyy
-dude, that
-Eowyn is fucking gorgeous, Aragorn is a dumb fool
-Shelob is the scariest thing I've ever seen
-SAAAAAAAM!
-"Don't go where I can't follow!" OMG OMG OMG
-Gimli's one-liners have gotten a lot better
-the Paths of the Dead are some creepy shit
-SAAAAAAAAM! again
-"You can't go wandering about Mordor in naught but your skin!" um. yes. yes he can. *drools*
-Pelennor Fields is Helm's Deep times a bajillion, holy SHIT
-LEGOLAS AND THE OLIPHAUNT AJSDHUKANXLNAKDUHUFHALUKG
-Elijah is really, really pretty. just sayin'.
-Pippin! Pyre of Denethor! DENETHOR THE FIREBALL FALLING OFF THE CLIFF!
-augh! Theoden! Noooo!
-augh! Merry! Nooooo!
-Eowyn KICKS ASS. "I am no man!" *audience cheers*
-augh! Pippin/Merry! Yesssss!
-holy shit, the dead blokes SWARM
-"I can't carry it, Mr. Frodo, but I can carry you!" OMG SAM! (so THAT'S where the strawberries scene went!)
-last battle asdkjhjdjhasjkdhaudhuk
-FRODO CLAIMS THE RING OMG YES PERFECT
-poor Gollum....except not.
-THE EAGLES!!!!11!!ONE!!
-"I'm glad you're here with me, Sam. Here at the end of all things." THANK YOU PETER JACKSON.
-reunion! hobbitpile! eeeeeeeeee!
-Frodo and Sam are soinlove.
-"You bow to no one." Thank ye kindly, Aragorn.
-eh, the elf bint's not so bad this time.
-Rosie! n'awwwwwwwww.
-GREY HAVENS OMG CRYYYYYYYYY
-they ended it with "Well, I'm back." No stupid-ass epilogue! OMG HEART.

And I'm spent. I literally walked home in a stupor, repeating "Oh, my god" over and over and over. RotK wins. It wins so much. And Sean Astin better clear off a space on his shelf for that little gold statuette...