feh.

Today has been such a mixture of good and blah already and it's only 2pm. Oddly enough, my classes were both pretty good, because in the first I gave a presentation on Ntozake Shange's "for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf" that went over quite well and then my lighting design class was fantastic as always and I still want to be my prof when I grow up. But then I had the double-acting-suck of 1. having the shittiest audition in the history of shit and 2. being told by the director of a different show what I had a fairly good audition for that I was not called back BECAUSE I AM AMERICAN and do not have an Irish accent for her FRENCH PLAY. Aasdkashfsakldh. Like, if it were a play about this Irish family from Cork that did Irishy things, yes, all right, but it's a translation of a French play set in a fictional kingdom. Which, apparently, has anti-American policies. Never mind that I am quite capable of learning an Irish accent if it's that important, and she never asked me to read the part in any accent but my own. BAH I say.

And then I went to the Immigration Bureau to officially register and not get kicked out of Ireland, where I learned that as MONDAY is a bank holiday, the bureau is, obviously, closed on Friday and Saturday as well. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE. So now I must go back at 8am on Tuesday, which makes me extremely not happy.

Argh.

i am a pretentious theatre person.

I am consoling myself over the utter crap of my audition by reminding myself that the parts I play reasonably well tend to fall into the "housewives or harlots" category of smallish, comedic roles. Whereas the two monologues I had to read for the audition were both of the lovelorn heroine types, which I detest and am no good at acting. So. Plus, doing a cold reading of an unfamiliar Shakespeare play? Really not a good idea. I never really stood a chance with this audition. At my best, I would have been mediocre for these parts.

This is actually rather comforting. If I had fucked up an audition for a good part or for a play I really loved, it would be much worse.

I'm also quite glad that I'm much more inclined toward (and more talented at) directing, because having directed several times, I've become very good at judging myself as an actor. So I know when I'm crap and am able to get over it and accept not being cast long before the cast list goes up. It cuts down the disappointment.

The play where being American screwed me over, however, I'm still bitter about. Because there I DID audition well, and DID read for the sort of part I'd be good at. Hmph.