on school.

[kaydeefalls]

As the term progresses, I am increasingly thankful that my grades for this year don't count towards my GPA. When the Study Abroad people first told us that, I was all WTF I AM GOOD STUDENT ALL MY GRADES SHOULD COUNT. But over here, I'm really coming to realize how different the British/Irish method of study is from the American, and I'm already quite nervous about failing my final exams. I'm not the sort of person who really stresses out about schoolwork -- bitch about it, sure, but not really worry, because I know I'm reasonably intelligent and I know my shit and I can write good essays and such. But here, I've actually been having nightmares about final exams, which, y'know, is ever so slightly premature as they are in MAY. Because I don't know how to prepare for this sort of exam. I don't even know where to begin. And I feel like I must be miles and miles behind all the Irish students in terms of classwork, because we have no assignments aside from reading, and with some notable exceptions (i.e. we will be discussing play X so read it before coming to class), the reading, while relevant, really doesn't seem necessary. I mean, the prof sits there and lectures us on the topic of the week, and we take notes and are rarely called on to speak or discuss much. So the readings just sort of seem like...background info, and I wind up not doing them because the important info is covered in the lecture. And coming from the UofC, where discussion is the primary element of nearly all my classes, trying to learn in a purely lecture-based environment is...really quite difficult for me, actually. And then we're graded on one essay per term plus the final exam, and that's IT. Also alien to me. The essays, of course, are a bit longer than the ones I'm used to writing (although I have, on occasion, written longer), and heavily rely on doing a shitload of research outside of class. Which, pathetic as this may sound, I'm not at all used to. I'm used to having the required texts for the course, and reading them all cover to cover, and writing about them. Here, it's all "well, this is the play for the week and here is a bibliography of fifty books that are relevant to the course that might be interesting to look over." This boggles me. I don't know what to do with this information. Read all fifty books per course? That can't possibly be what they expect of us. Or is it? I don't know. The other Visiting Students in my classes are just as baffled as I am. Well, I guess we'll all go down together.

I'm just. I don't know. My grades are probably going to be lower this year than ever before in my life, and I don't really know what to do about it. Everyone has a system of learning that works best for them, and this is just definitely not mine.

Ah, fuck it. I'm not going into academia, anyway. I'm not even planning on going to grad school, which makes me quite the black sheep at my home university. To be honest, I'm only in college because I know I need the degree to get anywhere in my life. I'm sick of schooling. I'd much rather be out in the real world, learning by experience instead of out of books. But that, my parents/teachers/friends say, would be a waste of my intelligence, so here I am.

Comments

[msilverstar]

Okay.

Deep breath.

If the rest of the Visiting Students are baffled, that's a sign it's the system and not you.

Keep asking until someone explains clearly how to prioritize the books and the research. Your prof or someone should help you focus on what you want to write about, and you can skim a lot of the books and check citations to see what applies to your focus.

Is theatre your goal? If so, the more plays you know, the more familiar you are with various literary contexts, the more you can offer any company.

*hugs you tight*

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'm not really panicking, much. Just a wee bit stressed out. I'll cope, though. I just need to make my inner overachieving perfectionist shut up a bit, and go with the flow.