she says i need not to need

[kaydeefalls]

She doesn't realize it, but this vid is kind of fiercynn's fault. I made a Gwen vid to this other song, and she commented saying that she'd always thought "The Tower" was the Vienna Teng song for Gwen. I listened to it a few times on repeat and decided, actually, it was Morgana's.

I'm a bit behind schedule, but happy belated birthday, fiercynn!


The Tower
edited by kaydee falls
fandom: Merlin
characters: Morgana + everyone (Gwen, Merlin, Arthur, Morgause, Mordred...)
music: "The Tower" by Vienna Teng
summary:she's seeing too clearly what she can't be. A Morgana vid.
watch: embed below the cut, or on Vimeo
download: mediafire (.mov, 55 MB)
disclaimer: not mine, no profit, don't sue.
notes: spoilers through all of S2. Companion to Harbor (Gwen) and Augustine (Merlin).

The Tower from kaydee falls on Vimeo.

Password: morgana


LYRICS:

The one who survives by making the lives
Of others worthwhile
She's coming apart
Right before my eyes
The one who depends on the services she renders
To those who come knocking
She's seeing too clearly what she can't be
What understanding defies

She says I need not to need
Or else a love with intuition
Someone who reaches out to my weakness
And won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
But now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

She turns out the light
Anticipating night falling tenderly around her
Watches the dusk
The words won't come
She carries the act so convincingly
The fact is sometimes she believes it
She can be happy with the way things are
Be happy with the things she's done

And yet I need not to need
Or else a love with intuition
Someone who reaches out to my weakness
And won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
But now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

Reach out, hold back
Where is safety
Reach out and hold back
Where is the one who can change me
Where is the one
The one

Reach out, hold back
Where is safety
Reach out and hold back
Where is the one who can save me
Where is the one
The one

I need not to need
Or else a love with intuition
Someone who reaches out to my weakness
And won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
But now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in the snow
The danger and the power
The friend and the foe

Comments

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, I love this so much. It's a gorgeous counterpoint to "Harbor", which felt so much about Gwen being at the centre of them all, whereas this is about Morgana moving away. GAH, MY HEART.

I mean, this all kills me, because Morgana's arc in S2 kind of breaks my heart and brain a little bit, but some awesome specifics:
+ I love the transition of Gwen caring for Morgana to Morgana caring for Mordred, because a) OH GWEN YOUR LOVELINESS IS CONTAGIOUS and b) OH MY HEART SHE'S PULLING AWAY.
+ The intercutting of her smiling at the dinner table with the keys, public and private, regal figure and magical subversive - OH MORGANA (and then this duality again in the last shot of her in the mirror)
+ The first "reach out/hold back" pretty much gutted me, with her trying to reach out to Arthur and Merlin and repeatedly being pushed away/silenced. OH SHOW, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?
+ And then Morgause shows up, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
+ And then the second lot of "reach out/hold back", and it's the magical community reaching out to her - I love the inclusion of Alvarr and Aglain, making it more about identity and connection than a shippy thing (although I will willingly ship Morgana any which way until the cows come home)

So, in conclusion: GAH MY HEART. I'm so glad "Harbor" exists so I can soothe my emotional wounds with it :)

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the lovely, detailed feedback! I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I very much intended for this to be a sort of dark mirror to the Gwen vid, so I'm particularly glad that worked for you. :)