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kaydeefalls
Well, I spent 30 of the past 48 hours at the theater in tech. Huzzah. *faceplant*
Haven't checked LJ at all since sometime Friday afternoon, which is unusual for me. At least I'll have plenty of reading during my downtime today. (Downtime. HA.)
Also, if anyone's still interested in playing the awesome ladies crossover meme, go forth. Many of my list of kickass female characters have not yet been represented, alas! I'll play with that sometime today or tomorrow, probably.
Sorry, I feel like I only know how to post about fandom things, and that very sporadically. My life is...I can't really articulate it right now, and it would make for very dull reading. Whether it's fandom or RL, I feel like I'm constantly engaging with people on a superficial level -- between day job and theater, I average working roughly 10-12 hours a day in continuous interaction with other people -- but I completely lack any meaningful personal connections in my everyday life, and as a result, I feel completely isolated and detached from everything and everyone. Which sounds much worse when I phrase it that way than I mean it to, ugh, failure to articulate at the moment. And of course I have friends, both online and in person (or both). But I rarely see or speak with any of them, and while I know theoretically I could pick up a phone or shoot off an e-mail and they would be there for me, I just...lack that ability, somehow. I hate feeling like I need anyone else, and I hate asking for help, and I hate speaking up when I don't have anything important or meaningful to say, and I never, ever feel like I'm worth wasting anyone else's time.
Wow. Writing that makes me feel hideously self-absorbed. Sorry! It's weird. While I have a fairly healthy sense of self-worth in some regards -- I think I'm a decent writer, good at my job, becoming a very competent stage manager, able to engage well with people on a professional level -- when it comes to personal? Good god, I feel like I'm completely worthless and interact with people accordingly. Hello undiagnosed neurosis, lovely to see you for what you are. CRINGE.
Going to stop talking about myself now. UGH.
Haven't checked LJ at all since sometime Friday afternoon, which is unusual for me. At least I'll have plenty of reading during my downtime today. (Downtime. HA.)
Also, if anyone's still interested in playing the awesome ladies crossover meme, go forth. Many of my list of kickass female characters have not yet been represented, alas! I'll play with that sometime today or tomorrow, probably.
Sorry, I feel like I only know how to post about fandom things, and that very sporadically. My life is...I can't really articulate it right now, and it would make for very dull reading. Whether it's fandom or RL, I feel like I'm constantly engaging with people on a superficial level -- between day job and theater, I average working roughly 10-12 hours a day in continuous interaction with other people -- but I completely lack any meaningful personal connections in my everyday life, and as a result, I feel completely isolated and detached from everything and everyone. Which sounds much worse when I phrase it that way than I mean it to, ugh, failure to articulate at the moment. And of course I have friends, both online and in person (or both). But I rarely see or speak with any of them, and while I know theoretically I could pick up a phone or shoot off an e-mail and they would be there for me, I just...lack that ability, somehow. I hate feeling like I need anyone else, and I hate asking for help, and I hate speaking up when I don't have anything important or meaningful to say, and I never, ever feel like I'm worth wasting anyone else's time.
Wow. Writing that makes me feel hideously self-absorbed. Sorry! It's weird. While I have a fairly healthy sense of self-worth in some regards -- I think I'm a decent writer, good at my job, becoming a very competent stage manager, able to engage well with people on a professional level -- when it comes to personal? Good god, I feel like I'm completely worthless and interact with people accordingly. Hello undiagnosed neurosis, lovely to see you for what you are. CRINGE.
Going to stop talking about myself now. UGH.
