sleepy hollow 2x03: root of all evil
Oct. 8th, 2014 07:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaydeefalls
Show, I am disappointed in you. You offered us the gloriously revisionist history that Benedict Arnold turned traitor because of a demon coin, and then totally failed to make those flashbacks anywhere near as ridiculous as they could have been. Where is nudist Ben Franklin when you need him? Sigh.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. : the Cranes are the most dysfunctional family ever, and also everyone is in jail. Meanwhile, Henry is lavishing attention on a miniature of the insane asylum. What’s the tiny dollhouse equivalent of a voodoo doll? Because that’s the general impression I’m getting from this. Within said psych facility is Frank Irving, but the nurse on duty won’t allow Ichabod and Abbie to see him, because his lawyer said so. This is after a very friendly patient says “Hi!” to Ichabod like ten times, and also the nurse assumes that Abbie is here to have Ichabod himself committed. This is a logical assumption on her part. Anyway, they find out that Henry is now Irving’s attorney, and Ichabod makes a crack about how of course the Horseman of War is a lawyer.
Over in jail, Jenny is apparently being sprung because Abbie cut her a deal with a judge involving community service. Reyes shows up to tell her an allegorical story about how she’s fucking up her life, in the process implicitly comparing Jenny to a mentally challenged canine. Which is really gonna win me over to her side. She also makes similar comparisons regarding Mama Mills, and, um, is that a coded way of calling Jenny’s mom a bitch? Not cool, Reyes. Not cool.
Abbie and Ichabod stalk Henry to a local bank, and while they’re outside plotting how not to be seen, they notice two dudes holding hands nearby and Abbie gives Ichabod a truly glorious lecture about LGBT rights. Ichabod is nonplussed, pointing out that gay people did exist in the 18th century, too, and also he has watched an entire episode of Glee. But more importantly, how dare that man wear a hat indoors! Tim Gunn would so not approve.
Henry emerges onto the street, but before our heroes can follow him, shots are fired inside the bank, and Abbie goes into super-cop mode. She runs toward the sound of gunfire, after reminding Ichabod that he’s persona non grata with the new sheriff and should probably not get involved. Inside, one of the bank tellers has gone postal for no particular reason, and the weird lighting effects across her face imply that something supernatural is to blame. How unexpected. Abbie does her best to talk the lady down, but Reyes busts in and drops her with one shot instead. Reyes is like the honey badger: she don’t give a shit. Unfortunately, this random nerdy looking guy seems to have caught the face-shadows as well…
Meanwhile, back at Apocalypse HQ, Ichabod is super miffed that he has to enter via the back door these days. Also, he is not very good at stealthy, because asking “IS THE COAST CLEAR” while sticking your head through an open sewer grate would not exactly help you remain unnoticed if the coast was not, in fact, clear. Anyway, they unspool the bank CCTV (because Ichabod apparently understands film reels but not digital video) and discover that the teller pocketed one of Henry’s coins before losing her shit. This sparks another incredibly convenient trip down memory lane for Ichabod (“I was once on a secret mission for General Washington,” he tells Abbie, because when was he ever not, jesus christ). Once upon a time, he busted a counterfeiting ring, and OBVIOUSLY that means the coins are possessed by the devil, and also suddenly he understands why Benedict Arnold turned traitor. This goes beyond being a leap of logic. This is like a skydive of logic. A warp jump of logic. I don’t even know. I’m mostly just sad that Ben Franklin isn’t in the flashback, to be honest.
Over in the Headless Horseman’s House o’ Exposition, Henry and Abraham are having a nice long talk about, I dunno, evil stuff. Mostly I’m wondering if the Horseman was chatting up his minions all last season sans Head, and we just were never privileged enough to witness it. It would be WAY funnier without Katrina’s glowy pendant of, um, head-seeing. Remember when the Horseman needed to possess Undead Andy in order to communicate? He was way creepier back then. Abraham’s just kind of a whiny tool. Also, Katrina apparently shares her husband’s lack of stealth, because she is the least subtle eavesdropper ever.
Jenny swings by Apocalypse HQ (this is just what I’m calling it now, deal with it), which is a great idea, because she certainly didn’t get arrested or anything the last time she stopped by. Oh, wait. Anyway, much like Ichabod, she has a seemingly limitless supply of coincidental exposition to dole out, because God only knows how this show would keep its plots moving forward otherwise. She also uses Abbie’s official login to hack Sheriff Reyes’s personnel files, because she hasn’t done anything illegal in at least five minutes or so, and discovers that Reyes was the officer in charge who had Mama Mills committed to the asylum back in the day, which directly led to Mama’s suicide. Ouch. Abbie defends Reyes, which is unexpected, and the two sisters have a brief but intense spat while Ichabod looks on awkwardly.
After Jenny storms off, Abbie and Ichabod follow up on her potential contact, one Nick Hawley, a shady dude who seems to deal supernatural contraband on the black market. Or something. Maybe the supernatural element is incidental, but he seems to roll with the whole “evil coin” thing way too easily, so I’m assuming he’s dealt with this sort of shit already. He also enjoys mocking Ichabod, but who doesn’t, really? Anyway, out of the bare minimum of info Ichabod and Abbie are willing to share, Hawley manages to link the coin to an ancient horde of Tyrian shekels. (I am endlessly grateful that they then find a notated picture of these coins in a book that I can freeze frame the episode on, because figuring out the proper spelling of “Tyrian shekel” was starting to cause me undue stress.) Also, fun fact, apparently these shekels were Judas’s infamous thirty pieces of silver. Moloch has clearly been playing the long game with this one.
Meanwhile, the shadow-faced nerd has been building a bomb with a red rose, because nothing says true love like explosive death. I’m not gonna lie, what with the rose and the voiceover about how “he doesn’t appreciate me” and the earlier discussion about the existence of gay people, I totally thought this was some tragic gay romance gone wrong. And then it turned out to be addressed to his dad. Awkward. Anyway, he blows up his dad’s flower shop. It doesn’t really do much to further the plot, but, y’know, that happened. Henry smirks evilly over his Weta Workshop miniatures, which now recreate the entire fucking town.
In the police station, Abbie and Ichabod chat some more about the evil shekel -- which is, conveniently, exactly the same size as a quarter -- and then Ichabod dodges Reyes very inconspicuously. Reyes demands to know why Abbie hacked her files, and Abbie counters with questions about her mother. They both kind of back off awkwardly after that. Meanwhile, Ichabod runs into Henry, who continues to be very smug about everything. Ichabod decides it’s somehow good strategy to inform Henry that he knows exactly what he’s been up to and will be cutting his allowance off immediately, young man, and Henry explains that the shekel doesn’t turn you evil, it simply unleashes the darkness that was already within you. At this point, I’m fairly certain the writers are lifting dialogue wholesale from Luke Skywalker’s confrontation with Emperor Palpatine. There’s a lot of “the power of the dark side of the Force” going on here. Anyway, Henry smirks away in a cloud of smugness, and Ichabod runs smack into Reyes instead. He gives her an impassioned speech about liberty, freedom, and truthiness, and then slinks away like a dog with a tail between his legs as soon as she asks him for valid ID.
The evil shekel itself goes to hang with Jenny, who’s doing her court-mandated community service. Predictably, she starts thinking evil thoughts, and gets a faceful of shadow. Henry smirks from afar. He’s doing a lot of smirking this episode.
Ichabod and Abbie meet Hawley in a pub, and he makes the critical error of offering Ichabod a historically-themed beverage. “Let me explain you a thing about Sam Adams,” Ichabod says (okay, I’m paraphrasing), and then the waitress cards him and he goes off on another tear about liberty, freedom, and the right to not carry legal identification. I was legitimately surprised she didn’t just toss them all out of the bar. Anyway, Hawley reveals that Jenny paid a little visit to his weapons cache, and they deduce that obviously she’s gone evil. Because Jenny has never shown any particular fondness towards firearms in the past. Then Hawley points out a crucial flaw in their plan to save Jenny from the shekel -- basically, that anyone who manages to retrieve the coin will also, y’know, go evil. But apparently a certain type of stained glass will protect them!
This is one of those things we’re just gonna have to roll with, because applying logic makes my brain hurt. Also, “shekel” is a fun word to type. I thought you should know that.
Hawley and Ichabod head over to a church that, conveniently, has exactly the right kind of stained glass, while Abbie does some subtle snooping back at the station -- she has a tracking device on Jenny’s car, or something? How is that legal? -- and discovers that Jenny is apparently going after Reyes, who’s off on a hunting trip in the woods. Over in the church, a priest intrudes upon the stained glass heist, so Ichabod discovers a sudden burning desire to confess his sins. “How long has it been since your last confession?” the priest asks, kindly. “Oh,” Ichabod stutters, “feels like centuries.” Hawley breaks some glass and they skedaddle.
(I need to point out, here, that Orlando Jones’s livetweets of this show are GOLDEN: “It's been 250 years since my last confession. I used Gen. Washington's name in vain. I name dropped the fuck out of all the founding fathers.”)
As they make their way into the woods, Ichabod feels contractually obligated to mention his wife, lest we forget she exists, and points out that Abbie seems less than approving of the events of last week’s episode. He asks if she thinks he should have allowed Katrina to remain with the Horseman. Abbie gives him the righteous smackdown he deserves: “Allowed? She is, one, a grown woman, two, a witch, and three, a redhead -- you couldn’t have stopped her if you tried.” I may have given Abbie a standing ovation of one at this point. She also points out that Katrina is Henry’s mother, and will probably always put her son first despite the whole Horseman of War thing. Over at the Horseman’s crash pad, Katrina is making this exact same point to Abraham. Somehow I get the feeling this will become important at some climactic moment later this season.
Meanwhile, Reyes is indeed hunting in the woods (in, like, a fucking camouflaged bunker, how is that even remotely fair on the game), and so is Jenny. Abbie and Hawley go for Jenny, while Ichabod distracts Reyes by throwing a pinecone at her. Seriously, they have this huge noisy emotional confrontation with Jenny and Reyes never notices. Because of course she doesn’t. Anyway, Abbie talks Jenny down with a genuinely moving, emotional speech that I can’t figure out how to make fun of, and before Abbie can get tempted by the shekel herself, Ichabod dropkicks it straight into Hawley’s stained glass catcher’s mitt. I haven’t had nearly enough alcohol to deal with this shit.
Ichabod swings by the insane asylum to visit his new bestie, the “Hi!” dude, and surreptitiously chat with Irving in the rec room, recapping him on the whole Henry being evil thing. I’m really glad that Irving got like a whole minute or two of screen time this week, he’s really contributing so much to the team. Over in the station, Reyes displays a fragment of humanity by letting Abbie read her mom’s files, from which Abbie deduces that Mama Mills was in fact being tormented by Moloch. I really hope that wasn’t supposed to be some kind of plot twist. And then Hawley turns up to say that of course he hasn’t sold the evil shekel on the black market -- there were thirty pieces of silver, he’s totally gonna wait until he can sell the complete collection. Gotta catch ‘em all! But to prove that he’s really a trustworthy black marketeer at heart, he presents Ichabod with his very own fake ID. Awww, I’m having such warm, fuzzy flashbacks to high school.
And speaking of warm, fuzzy flashbacks, Henry just sin-ate a flashback to his own birth. AWKWARD.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. : the Cranes are the most dysfunctional family ever, and also everyone is in jail. Meanwhile, Henry is lavishing attention on a miniature of the insane asylum. What’s the tiny dollhouse equivalent of a voodoo doll? Because that’s the general impression I’m getting from this. Within said psych facility is Frank Irving, but the nurse on duty won’t allow Ichabod and Abbie to see him, because his lawyer said so. This is after a very friendly patient says “Hi!” to Ichabod like ten times, and also the nurse assumes that Abbie is here to have Ichabod himself committed. This is a logical assumption on her part. Anyway, they find out that Henry is now Irving’s attorney, and Ichabod makes a crack about how of course the Horseman of War is a lawyer.
Over in jail, Jenny is apparently being sprung because Abbie cut her a deal with a judge involving community service. Reyes shows up to tell her an allegorical story about how she’s fucking up her life, in the process implicitly comparing Jenny to a mentally challenged canine. Which is really gonna win me over to her side. She also makes similar comparisons regarding Mama Mills, and, um, is that a coded way of calling Jenny’s mom a bitch? Not cool, Reyes. Not cool.
Abbie and Ichabod stalk Henry to a local bank, and while they’re outside plotting how not to be seen, they notice two dudes holding hands nearby and Abbie gives Ichabod a truly glorious lecture about LGBT rights. Ichabod is nonplussed, pointing out that gay people did exist in the 18th century, too, and also he has watched an entire episode of Glee. But more importantly, how dare that man wear a hat indoors! Tim Gunn would so not approve.
Henry emerges onto the street, but before our heroes can follow him, shots are fired inside the bank, and Abbie goes into super-cop mode. She runs toward the sound of gunfire, after reminding Ichabod that he’s persona non grata with the new sheriff and should probably not get involved. Inside, one of the bank tellers has gone postal for no particular reason, and the weird lighting effects across her face imply that something supernatural is to blame. How unexpected. Abbie does her best to talk the lady down, but Reyes busts in and drops her with one shot instead. Reyes is like the honey badger: she don’t give a shit. Unfortunately, this random nerdy looking guy seems to have caught the face-shadows as well…
Meanwhile, back at Apocalypse HQ, Ichabod is super miffed that he has to enter via the back door these days. Also, he is not very good at stealthy, because asking “IS THE COAST CLEAR” while sticking your head through an open sewer grate would not exactly help you remain unnoticed if the coast was not, in fact, clear. Anyway, they unspool the bank CCTV (because Ichabod apparently understands film reels but not digital video) and discover that the teller pocketed one of Henry’s coins before losing her shit. This sparks another incredibly convenient trip down memory lane for Ichabod (“I was once on a secret mission for General Washington,” he tells Abbie, because when was he ever not, jesus christ). Once upon a time, he busted a counterfeiting ring, and OBVIOUSLY that means the coins are possessed by the devil, and also suddenly he understands why Benedict Arnold turned traitor. This goes beyond being a leap of logic. This is like a skydive of logic. A warp jump of logic. I don’t even know. I’m mostly just sad that Ben Franklin isn’t in the flashback, to be honest.
Over in the Headless Horseman’s House o’ Exposition, Henry and Abraham are having a nice long talk about, I dunno, evil stuff. Mostly I’m wondering if the Horseman was chatting up his minions all last season sans Head, and we just were never privileged enough to witness it. It would be WAY funnier without Katrina’s glowy pendant of, um, head-seeing. Remember when the Horseman needed to possess Undead Andy in order to communicate? He was way creepier back then. Abraham’s just kind of a whiny tool. Also, Katrina apparently shares her husband’s lack of stealth, because she is the least subtle eavesdropper ever.
Jenny swings by Apocalypse HQ (this is just what I’m calling it now, deal with it), which is a great idea, because she certainly didn’t get arrested or anything the last time she stopped by. Oh, wait. Anyway, much like Ichabod, she has a seemingly limitless supply of coincidental exposition to dole out, because God only knows how this show would keep its plots moving forward otherwise. She also uses Abbie’s official login to hack Sheriff Reyes’s personnel files, because she hasn’t done anything illegal in at least five minutes or so, and discovers that Reyes was the officer in charge who had Mama Mills committed to the asylum back in the day, which directly led to Mama’s suicide. Ouch. Abbie defends Reyes, which is unexpected, and the two sisters have a brief but intense spat while Ichabod looks on awkwardly.
After Jenny storms off, Abbie and Ichabod follow up on her potential contact, one Nick Hawley, a shady dude who seems to deal supernatural contraband on the black market. Or something. Maybe the supernatural element is incidental, but he seems to roll with the whole “evil coin” thing way too easily, so I’m assuming he’s dealt with this sort of shit already. He also enjoys mocking Ichabod, but who doesn’t, really? Anyway, out of the bare minimum of info Ichabod and Abbie are willing to share, Hawley manages to link the coin to an ancient horde of Tyrian shekels. (I am endlessly grateful that they then find a notated picture of these coins in a book that I can freeze frame the episode on, because figuring out the proper spelling of “Tyrian shekel” was starting to cause me undue stress.) Also, fun fact, apparently these shekels were Judas’s infamous thirty pieces of silver. Moloch has clearly been playing the long game with this one.
Meanwhile, the shadow-faced nerd has been building a bomb with a red rose, because nothing says true love like explosive death. I’m not gonna lie, what with the rose and the voiceover about how “he doesn’t appreciate me” and the earlier discussion about the existence of gay people, I totally thought this was some tragic gay romance gone wrong. And then it turned out to be addressed to his dad. Awkward. Anyway, he blows up his dad’s flower shop. It doesn’t really do much to further the plot, but, y’know, that happened. Henry smirks evilly over his Weta Workshop miniatures, which now recreate the entire fucking town.
In the police station, Abbie and Ichabod chat some more about the evil shekel -- which is, conveniently, exactly the same size as a quarter -- and then Ichabod dodges Reyes very inconspicuously. Reyes demands to know why Abbie hacked her files, and Abbie counters with questions about her mother. They both kind of back off awkwardly after that. Meanwhile, Ichabod runs into Henry, who continues to be very smug about everything. Ichabod decides it’s somehow good strategy to inform Henry that he knows exactly what he’s been up to and will be cutting his allowance off immediately, young man, and Henry explains that the shekel doesn’t turn you evil, it simply unleashes the darkness that was already within you. At this point, I’m fairly certain the writers are lifting dialogue wholesale from Luke Skywalker’s confrontation with Emperor Palpatine. There’s a lot of “the power of the dark side of the Force” going on here. Anyway, Henry smirks away in a cloud of smugness, and Ichabod runs smack into Reyes instead. He gives her an impassioned speech about liberty, freedom, and truthiness, and then slinks away like a dog with a tail between his legs as soon as she asks him for valid ID.
The evil shekel itself goes to hang with Jenny, who’s doing her court-mandated community service. Predictably, she starts thinking evil thoughts, and gets a faceful of shadow. Henry smirks from afar. He’s doing a lot of smirking this episode.
Ichabod and Abbie meet Hawley in a pub, and he makes the critical error of offering Ichabod a historically-themed beverage. “Let me explain you a thing about Sam Adams,” Ichabod says (okay, I’m paraphrasing), and then the waitress cards him and he goes off on another tear about liberty, freedom, and the right to not carry legal identification. I was legitimately surprised she didn’t just toss them all out of the bar. Anyway, Hawley reveals that Jenny paid a little visit to his weapons cache, and they deduce that obviously she’s gone evil. Because Jenny has never shown any particular fondness towards firearms in the past. Then Hawley points out a crucial flaw in their plan to save Jenny from the shekel -- basically, that anyone who manages to retrieve the coin will also, y’know, go evil. But apparently a certain type of stained glass will protect them!
This is one of those things we’re just gonna have to roll with, because applying logic makes my brain hurt. Also, “shekel” is a fun word to type. I thought you should know that.
Hawley and Ichabod head over to a church that, conveniently, has exactly the right kind of stained glass, while Abbie does some subtle snooping back at the station -- she has a tracking device on Jenny’s car, or something? How is that legal? -- and discovers that Jenny is apparently going after Reyes, who’s off on a hunting trip in the woods. Over in the church, a priest intrudes upon the stained glass heist, so Ichabod discovers a sudden burning desire to confess his sins. “How long has it been since your last confession?” the priest asks, kindly. “Oh,” Ichabod stutters, “feels like centuries.” Hawley breaks some glass and they skedaddle.
(I need to point out, here, that Orlando Jones’s livetweets of this show are GOLDEN: “It's been 250 years since my last confession. I used Gen. Washington's name in vain. I name dropped the fuck out of all the founding fathers.”)
As they make their way into the woods, Ichabod feels contractually obligated to mention his wife, lest we forget she exists, and points out that Abbie seems less than approving of the events of last week’s episode. He asks if she thinks he should have allowed Katrina to remain with the Horseman. Abbie gives him the righteous smackdown he deserves: “Allowed? She is, one, a grown woman, two, a witch, and three, a redhead -- you couldn’t have stopped her if you tried.” I may have given Abbie a standing ovation of one at this point. She also points out that Katrina is Henry’s mother, and will probably always put her son first despite the whole Horseman of War thing. Over at the Horseman’s crash pad, Katrina is making this exact same point to Abraham. Somehow I get the feeling this will become important at some climactic moment later this season.
Meanwhile, Reyes is indeed hunting in the woods (in, like, a fucking camouflaged bunker, how is that even remotely fair on the game), and so is Jenny. Abbie and Hawley go for Jenny, while Ichabod distracts Reyes by throwing a pinecone at her. Seriously, they have this huge noisy emotional confrontation with Jenny and Reyes never notices. Because of course she doesn’t. Anyway, Abbie talks Jenny down with a genuinely moving, emotional speech that I can’t figure out how to make fun of, and before Abbie can get tempted by the shekel herself, Ichabod dropkicks it straight into Hawley’s stained glass catcher’s mitt. I haven’t had nearly enough alcohol to deal with this shit.
Ichabod swings by the insane asylum to visit his new bestie, the “Hi!” dude, and surreptitiously chat with Irving in the rec room, recapping him on the whole Henry being evil thing. I’m really glad that Irving got like a whole minute or two of screen time this week, he’s really contributing so much to the team. Over in the station, Reyes displays a fragment of humanity by letting Abbie read her mom’s files, from which Abbie deduces that Mama Mills was in fact being tormented by Moloch. I really hope that wasn’t supposed to be some kind of plot twist. And then Hawley turns up to say that of course he hasn’t sold the evil shekel on the black market -- there were thirty pieces of silver, he’s totally gonna wait until he can sell the complete collection. Gotta catch ‘em all! But to prove that he’s really a trustworthy black marketeer at heart, he presents Ichabod with his very own fake ID. Awww, I’m having such warm, fuzzy flashbacks to high school.
And speaking of warm, fuzzy flashbacks, Henry just sin-ate a flashback to his own birth. AWKWARD.
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Date: 2014-10-15 09:52 pm (UTC)