::hurls book across room::

[kaydeefalls]

It's not that I don't like Camus' The Stranger, it's that my mind is not bloody well equipped to write a 7 page paper on existentialism. For fuck's sake.

::pulls out Elie Wiesel's Night instead::

Ahhhh.


Incidentally, and this may sound strange, but when people rec my First RPS Fic Ever, my skin crawls. In a very bad way. I want to disown that fic. It should never have seen the light of day. Who in their right mind would actually fucking REC it?! And then I lose faith in God and my writing ability and such, and despair over the fact that apparently my writing hasn't improved since I wrote that drivel, and...beuh. Just beuh. I mean, I ought to be grateful that I was recced at all, but for fuck's sake, why THAT fic? Dude, the rest of my stuff must be utter shit.

In other news, have officially had my first minor nervous breakdown over Brick. And this only after the first day of auditions. For the record, I fucking hate school theater politics. I thought that now that I'm finally director, I'm past all that shit. Well, I thought wrong. Compromise is a beautiful thing, but when it gets to the point that only ONE of the people I actually want to call back for a certain role is getting a callback... My god. This is ridiculous.

Comments

[gabbyhope.livejournal.com]

You have improved. And I can say that, cause I've read damn near everything of yours, haven't I? bwahaha.

I know exactly how you feel. I get fb about my first fic and I think, ohgod, shoot me now. If I knew then what I know now. But you know what I think it mainly is? People liking the fic, still bringing it up and such? They remember it mainly because it was the first thing they saw from you. And they say, oh, man. This person is going to be wonderful. And so when they think of you, they think... oh, I remember the time I read her first fic... and it's only gotten better.

At least, that's what I'm hoping it is. *shrugs* The more you write, the more experienced you are. Don't worry about it, Kaydeedear. People are just... strange in their tastes, sometimes.

...and writing about Camus sucks my Puerto Rican ass. Stupid AP English.

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

I think I like your explanation better than mine. Thanks. I needed that. Just, much frustration over RL shit spills over into general crankiness about life in general. ::beats back pessimistic leanings with a very large stick::

Screw Camus. ::pets Night lovingly::

[jimmyrabbitte.livejournal.com]

Hunter Theater is designed so that, if you are directing, you do one of two things: Flip out, or Seriously Filp out. Remember, it's "fun!" Or is once all the craziness of auditioning. . .no, wait, after your first cast member deserts. . .maybe after your first cast member breakdown. . .eh, there are many fun bits to directing, seriously. It all ends up fun in the end, and I was always really sorry for it to end. If you need to bitch about craziness of Hunter Theater, and Brick specifically, I'm always game.

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

Well, yesterday was shit. But today's auditions were much, much better, so am feeling more optimistic. I'm actually calling back this seven for about four parts, including the lead. The seven's name is Gleb. Gleb Gleb Gleb. Poor kid.

::realizes that Eric, Mairin, and Kasey all have callbacks:: Hmmm. This looks frighteningly familiar.

But. Yes. Whee, flipping out! I'll probably be doing more of that in the not-so-distant future...