May. 14th, 2005

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Had a bit of a spat with the boyfriend yesterday evening, which resulted in me heading off downtown to see Kingdom of Heaven alone. Once my general pissed-off-ness cooled down, I had quite a nice night. It was like being single again. Two guys waiting at the bus stop started chatting me up and flirting, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I should have. I chatted and flirted right back until they got off the bus. It felt...nice. And then I took a long walk up Michigan Avenue, and it was a gorgeous night. And the movie was fun -- not great, but worth watching, and Orlando was a lovely piece of eye candy. After the movie, I sang to myself in the bus stop until the bus came to take me back to campus.

Last night was very reassuring, in a way. That I can go out and have a good time without the boyfriend. Maybe next year won't be so bad, with me in Ireland and him still in Chicago.

It also makes me wonder if we should break up when I leave. I mean, I love him, but it was just so nice to be able to flirt again, and I don't want to feel guilty or tied down when I don't see him for months on end. I'm still young. I'm not ready to commit to one relationship for the rest of my life. But at the same time, why break off a good thing? Bah.

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