kaydeefalls | here we go again

After the overwhelming responses to my post about the roommate, it's finally become clear to me that this is kind of a toxic living situation, and I need to get out. So I'm officially apartment hunting again, UGH. Sent out a handful of craigslist inquiries today, am already seeing a place on Monday. On the plus side, I can afford to be patient and picky this time around -- I have no move-in deadline, and no pressure to sign on to anything unless I really think it'll be a good fit.

On the minus side, I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. Even though my roommate's impossible, I don't want to just leave her in the lurch, and I know she had been looking for a longer-term roommate when she chose me to move in. So moving out again after a grand total of five months (if any of these inquiries pan out) seems like such a dick move to pull. But I really can't stand feeling like an unwanted houseguest in what's supposed to be my own home.

Also, how the hell do I tell her I'm planning on leaving? I don't intend to tell her until I've found a new place; I will be sure to give her at least two weeks' notice, but that's still...not very much. On the other hand, I don't want to give her LOTS of notice and then still have to live with her added resentment for all that remaining time. But I hate confrontation with every fiber of my being, and I honestly don't know how to broach the subject with her. ("Hey, I'm moving out because you're completely batshit and I'm really uncomfortable living with you.") I also dread having to tell the landlord, who I DO genuinely like and think is a good person and a great landlord, but who's been friends with the roommate for years. UGH. Everything about this situation just sucks.

Anyway, if anyone knows anyone in NYC who's looking for a new roommate...