still trucking along
May. 9th, 2026 11:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaydeefalls
Today in a fit of boredom I decided it was time to update my AO3 account with any of my old fanvids that hadn't already been posted there. I had a good 30-odd vids on AO3 already; surely, I thought, there couldn't be THAT many I'd missed.
Anyway RIP to anyone subscribed to my AO3 who just got like 20-odd new work notifications for my backdated vids. Um. Sorry? The tragic part is, there are still like 10-15 left to go, I just got embarrassed by how many vids I apparently made in the period from 2009-2011 and gave up. For now, anyway. Holy SHIT I made a lot of vids back in the day. I kinda miss that hobby. But while I've found new software that I can make work (and have made a few Festivids with it), it doesn't jive with my brain very well, so vidding just isn't all that fun for me anymore. Alas.
I haven't written anything since finishing the 100k+ fic in February, and I'm starting to get antsy about it. But my brain always needs a writing break after finishing a longer project, and burnout from RL has been very real, so trying not to be too hard on myself.
And, fingers crossed, RL seems to be easing up a bit. Wife spent another stint in the hospital involving another emergency surgery in mid-March, but that one actually seems to be helping, and she's recovered MUCH more strongly from this one than anything since November. Of course, the way her body works, the successful resolution of that issue means her other chronic pain issues have decided to flare up in retaliation, having been woefully ignored for lo these many months while she focused on the emergency stomach stuff, so that sucks. But at least none of THAT is life-threatening. We take what we can get.
On the flip side, after a couple of years of gradually more apparent signs, my mom has finally been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This is...a lot. She's still physically fine and functional, but her mind is deteriorating at a worrisome rate, and it's just...yeah. My dad has functionally become her caretaker, and he's struggling a bit with that adjustment, understandably. But boy howdy has he been good about getting all the legal stuff in line. So. Yeah. Very glad I still have one extremely functional parent, because I would be floundering badly if it were all landing on me right now.
In the midst of all this, I somehow applied for and landed a new job? This is baffling to me, but VERY welcome. I'd been at my prior org for eight and a half years, which is absolutely mind-boggling, and in the past few years I'd really started to hate it there, but thought I'd be stuck there forever because the job market sucks and the benefits (and health insurance) were too good for me to just quit. But then this opportunity unexpectedly fell into my lap, and I went for it, and here we are. I've been at new job for a month now, and I'm SO much happier there. The work is more interesting and the focus of the new nonprofit much more strongly aligns with my own priorities, and while it has its drawbacks, it's just been so much better for my mental health. So. That's a positive.
Wife did gently point out back back when this was all happening that I'd likely not be in an good headspace to write for a good two months - the last month where I was frantically trying to transition out of old job, and the first month of onboarding and adjusting to the new one. She was very right about that. Let's see if I can kick myself back into a creative headspace now that I'm feeling more settled with everything else.
Anyway RIP to anyone subscribed to my AO3 who just got like 20-odd new work notifications for my backdated vids. Um. Sorry? The tragic part is, there are still like 10-15 left to go, I just got embarrassed by how many vids I apparently made in the period from 2009-2011 and gave up. For now, anyway. Holy SHIT I made a lot of vids back in the day. I kinda miss that hobby. But while I've found new software that I can make work (and have made a few Festivids with it), it doesn't jive with my brain very well, so vidding just isn't all that fun for me anymore. Alas.
I haven't written anything since finishing the 100k+ fic in February, and I'm starting to get antsy about it. But my brain always needs a writing break after finishing a longer project, and burnout from RL has been very real, so trying not to be too hard on myself.
And, fingers crossed, RL seems to be easing up a bit. Wife spent another stint in the hospital involving another emergency surgery in mid-March, but that one actually seems to be helping, and she's recovered MUCH more strongly from this one than anything since November. Of course, the way her body works, the successful resolution of that issue means her other chronic pain issues have decided to flare up in retaliation, having been woefully ignored for lo these many months while she focused on the emergency stomach stuff, so that sucks. But at least none of THAT is life-threatening. We take what we can get.
On the flip side, after a couple of years of gradually more apparent signs, my mom has finally been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This is...a lot. She's still physically fine and functional, but her mind is deteriorating at a worrisome rate, and it's just...yeah. My dad has functionally become her caretaker, and he's struggling a bit with that adjustment, understandably. But boy howdy has he been good about getting all the legal stuff in line. So. Yeah. Very glad I still have one extremely functional parent, because I would be floundering badly if it were all landing on me right now.
In the midst of all this, I somehow applied for and landed a new job? This is baffling to me, but VERY welcome. I'd been at my prior org for eight and a half years, which is absolutely mind-boggling, and in the past few years I'd really started to hate it there, but thought I'd be stuck there forever because the job market sucks and the benefits (and health insurance) were too good for me to just quit. But then this opportunity unexpectedly fell into my lap, and I went for it, and here we are. I've been at new job for a month now, and I'm SO much happier there. The work is more interesting and the focus of the new nonprofit much more strongly aligns with my own priorities, and while it has its drawbacks, it's just been so much better for my mental health. So. That's a positive.
Wife did gently point out back back when this was all happening that I'd likely not be in an good headspace to write for a good two months - the last month where I was frantically trying to transition out of old job, and the first month of onboarding and adjusting to the new one. She was very right about that. Let's see if I can kick myself back into a creative headspace now that I'm feeling more settled with everything else.
no subject
Date: 2026-05-10 04:02 am (UTC)And happy to hear your wife is doing better and you have a better new job!
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Date: 2026-05-10 04:07 am (UTC)Thank you! And oh gosh, I meant to tell you - I'm so glad to hear your own surgery went okay. <3
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Date: 2026-05-10 04:44 am (UTC)when I got the alerts from ao3 it made me go back and rewatch some of my faves, so it was appreciated here. 💕 Congrats on the job, and I'm so sorry about your mother.