The LJ friends thing.

[kaydeefalls]

So, I have been unfriended. Not the first time it's happened, but this person's fics are usually friends-only, and I am sorry that I won't be able to read them anymore. Them's the breaks.

But you know what? The whole LJ friends business is rather absurd, really. And inappropriately named. As of now, I have 68 people on my friends list. I barely know any of you. I've spoken to maybe three of you on IM (not counting my RL friends on here -- lush_rimbaud, tarigwaemir, lianara, ldmoonflower, filmelder, trivetmonger). I'm pretty decent at giving feedback on fics but rarely leave comments in your journals otherwise. When people comment on stuff in my journal, I usually respond but almost never strike up a real conversation. And LJ calls this friendship?

I am antisocial around people I don't know too well -- both in RL and on the internet. I admit it. And, frankly, I probably make a lousy LJ friend. Aside from the never conversing with anyone, I'm well aware that most of my entries are of interest to me and no one else. Those who have friended me are here because either they liked my fics or I friended them first. And I friend people based on their writing or journals, not personality. I'm sure you're all wonderful people. But if you post interesting rants, I'll probably friend you. If you like to ramble on about, say, *Nsync, I probably won't. Doesn't mean you're not a cool person, just that I have no interest in reading about *Nsync's latest album.

And you know what else? I'm tired of feeling guilty whenever I unfriend someone, or fail to friend someone who's friended me. When someone unfriends me -- well, sure, I spend a minute or two wondering what I did wrong, but then I get over it. It's relatively meaningless. I don't know you. You don't know me. I've got RL friends, and I'm sure you do, too, and THOSE are the friendships that really matter. A few sociable, outgoing people DO manage to create lasting friendships online, and all power to them. I generally don't. It's just how I am.

So the "moral" of this little...well, it's not a rant, so I'm not quite sure what to call it. Anyway. Moral? There is no moral. I guess I'm just trying to release any of you who want out. If our interests have diverged, or my journal is boring -- go ahead and unfriend me. I won't hold it against you. You're all cool people, I'm not going to take offense. Similarly, if I do any unfriending in the future, it's nothing personal.

Easy come, easy go, right?

Comments

[kaydeefalls.livejournal.com]

unless of course you turn out to be an axe murderer when we meet, and all my mother's internet paranoia turns out to be actually true

Well, of course, I AM an axe murderer, but that's besides the point.... ;)

but there are a whole lot of people on my friends list I don't know much about yet -- the reason they're on there is because they interest me and I like to keep reading what they have to say

It's not that I think everyone should unfriend people they don't really know. That would be ridiculous. Just that if someone IS unfriended, she shouldn't take it personally -- because she never really knew the other person, anyway, and vice-versa. ::blinks:: That didn't come out right. I'm lousy at expressing myself. But. Yes. I agree with you.

Anyways, I'm staying, and I'd like to stay.

Coolness. I have no plans to unfriend you. Your journal is interesting. ::thumbs up:: It's just that in my theoretical nonexistent perfect world, it wouldn't be that big a deal if you DID choose to "unfriend" me, or vice-versa. Does that make any sense?

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

It's just that in my theoretical nonexistent perfect world, it wouldn't be that big a deal if you DID choose to "unfriend" me, or vice-versa. Does that make any sense?

...I know exactly what you're saying, so yes, it makes PERFECT sense. For some inexplicable reason, though, it always does hurt when even a random person unfriends you; it leaves you open to questioning how interesting you are, what you said to offend them, why there's no explanation... I hate that. Rargh.